Mom of Columbine Shooter Confesses How She Feels About Her Son (VIDEO)

Heartbreaking 21

columbine

Just the name Columbine sends shivers down every parent's spine. At one point, it was the scene of the most shocking display of school violence we had ever heard of. In a new book, the parents of Dylan Klebold open up about their son and his notorious high school massacre.

For Far From the Tree author Andrew Sullivan sat down with Tom and Sue Klebold to find out what it was like to raise a child who could do something so unimaginable. What he learned about Dylan and his family was both chilling and heartbreaking.

After the incident, with Dylan and his accomplice Eric Harris dead, most of the anger was directed at their parents. People felt that they must have known how disturbed their children were or somehow be to blame for the shooting. In fact, when Sullivan first set out to interview the Klebolds, he expected to uncover some dark family dynamic that led to the gruesome crime spree that left 12 students and a teacher dead. To his surprise, what he discovered was a loving, caring family, who he believed had no idea about their son's plans.

In fact, the crime has plagued the parents since the moment it happened. They have been filled with "what if"s and regrets. "Sue said to me, 'Once I understood that it was Dylan who was doing this, I had to pray that he got killed before he hurt any more people. If he goes down, I want to know it was his choice so I hope he kills himself,'" recalled Sullivan. Can you imagine praying that your son would die so that he couldn't murder more innocent people? As a parent, my heart goes out to her. That must have been the most horrific moment of her life. When asked what she would say to Dylan if he were here now, she said, "I would ask him to forgive me for being his mother and never knowing what was going on inside his head." So very sad. Though this may be her most heartbreaking admission:

While I recognize that it would have been better for the world if Dylan had not been born, I believed it would not have been better for me.

That was such a startling reminder that this woman is a mom. Even when a child does something so unimaginable, so grisly, we want to hold on to the memory of the good things about him or her. We want to remember them as a blessing, not some monster that terrorized the world. Though it certainly doesn't seem like Sue is deluding herself. She knows very well that there was something tragically wrong with her son.

It's very interesting that the Klebolds didn't move far away from that town, where I imagine many people still feel they are guilty in some way. The reason they stayed? Sullivan said they felt that if they had moved, everyone they met would have only thought of them as the parents of that killer, but in Columbine, they still had friends who loved them and who loved Dylan. They needed to hold on to that. It's just so heartbreaking.

People don't want to admit that Tom and Sue Klebold were victims of Dylan and Eric as well. Parents whose children commit heinous crimes carry a very unique burden. They are blamed and maligned for something that their children did, and in many ways their lives are destroyed too. Sure, we can say they should have paid more attention to what their son was up to, but that does no one any good now. Isn't it possible that they were actually decent parents who had a very troubled child? I can't imagine living with the fact that the person you gave birth to could do something so monstrous. I sympathize with this mom. All the parents of children killed that day have suffered immeasurably -- and whether you want to acknowledge it or not, that includes the Klebolds too.

Learn more about Andrew Sullivan's book:

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Do you think the Klebolds are to blame for what their son did?


Image via Getty

behavior, family, crime, death, guns

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bills... billsfan1104

I have often wondered about them. Too me I have always felt that this was the first case of victims of bullies acting out their revenge. I remember an article in Time magazine, where they interviewed a student and he said that he would of still made fun of them because they were weird and different. I do not excuse what those boys did, but I understood why. Those boys were tortured and the schools did nothing. And things still havent changed nowadays.

cmjaz cmjaz

I would buy that book

kjbug... kjbugsmom1517

Id read the book too. I was a freshman in high school when this happend. It shook my world. Bullying has only gottin worse too. its now everywhere. Its no wonder this stuff happens. However i cannot blame his parents. Kids often bottle stuff up till one day they just snap (adults too). Im sure the guilt she feels is way more than anyone really knows.

EmmaF... EmmaFromEire

I' be interested in reading the book. I've never had anything but sympathy for his parents- honestly, how were they to know? I think people were too quick to blame them- dylan and his accomplice had minds of their own, parents can be there, but they can't be telepathic. There were a multitude of things going on in those boys' heads.


and i agree with kjbugsmom, people bottle things up, whether they be kids or adults. Those poor people feel guilty every day of their lives, and it breaks my heart reading her quote about him being born.

Miche... Michelephant

Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris weren't just bullying victims. They were bullies themselves.  They had a close knit group of friends, were involved in activities and were mesmerized by the neo Nazi subculture.  While bullying played a part, these were not kids that just snapped.  They made extensive plans and set up home made bombs under the cafateria.  That was their initial plan.  The guns were to shoot the stragglers.  When the bombs didn't go off as planned, they went in and started shooting.  

Ashle... AshleyB1984

I never once thought anything bad about the parents. Unfortunately teenagers make their own decisions and in this case they made the worst choice ever. Parents can't control teenagers. 


I hope for the parents' sake nobody is making them feel guilty for this. They, like others, have suffered enough.

nonmember avatar Rachel

R.I.P Dylan and Eric <3
this honesty just broke my heart. I haven't seen a lot showing sympathy for the parents of Dylan and Eric. I will defiantly make sure to read that book.
Also if anyone wants to read a book about Columbine, i suggest No easy answers. not 'Columbine'. If you do further research you'll find out that Dave Cullen was completely bias while writing about Columbine.

Saerise Saerise

My heart breaks for this lady. I was in 8th grade when it happened. I was wearing a trenchcoat that day, and after that my school wouldn't let me wear it anymore. I always felt so sad for the families, Eric and Dylan were victims of themselves, and I can only imagine the agony that she continues to go through. 

CPN322 CPN322

Not at all, and perhaps I feel that way because just a month ago my best friend in the whole world took his own life, and though those close to him knew he had suffered from PTSD for years(his guy best friend killed himself with my friends gun in my friends back yard the day before he was to be sent back to iraq 7 years ago) no one, not even his twin sister, knew he was even thinking about taking his own life much less that he could do that. He even knew I'd struggled with suicidal thoughts and a failed attempt in high school and still didn't lean on me. What I'm trying to say is that you can be there whole heartedly for someone and not know what exactly is going on in their mind. A lot of people that suffer mentally go to great lengths to hide it from those they love so as not to be a burden. My best friends mother is the most amazing mother in the world only 2nd to my own in my eyes and they were extremely close, he was a huge mommas boy and yet she didn't know either. My heart goes out to these parents.

Stephanie Zinna

Just an FYI - I wasn't able to load the video, but when I did a search for the book on Amazon, the blog author has the author and title wrong - it is "Far From the Tree" by Andrew Solomon. I just pre-ordered on Amazon, and it looks great, but it is not exclusively about the Klebolds, they're just one chapter.

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