Brave Mom of Autumn Pasquale’s Accused Killers Turned Her Own Sons In -- Would You?

Heartbreaking 35

Autumn PasqualeThe horrifying story of Autumn Pasquale, the missing New Jersey girl whose body was found in a recycling bin this week, has gotten more terrifying. Two teenage boys have been arrested and charged with killing the 12-year-old, allegedly over her bike. And now I'm going to be the first to say I feel sorry for the mother of the 15- and 17-year-old brothers charged with this crime.

Yes, I feel sorry for Autumn's parents. My heart breaks in two for them. But that doesn't mean I can't have sympathy for the mom who turned her own sons in to the cops.

Police in Clayton, New Jersey, have credited the unnamed mother of the two minors for coming forward based on a comment she saw on one of the boys' Facebook pages. They won't elaborate, although some media have poked around the social site trying to determine what the 15- and 17-year-old suspects may have said. One theory centers around the fact that one of the boys allegedly "liked" a page devoted to the search for Autumn Pasquale.

More from The Stir: Teen Brothers Arrested for Autumn Pasquale's Murder & It's Almost Unthinkable (VIDEO)

What she found is neither here nor there. What kind of mother turns her children in to the police is the bigger issue here.

I think it's a mother who loves her children so much that she knows this is best for them.

We all worry that our kids are going to make mistakes in life. Of course, we're thinking mistakes along the "hit his best friend with a toy" line, not "murdered a 12-year-old girl for her bike and shoved her in a garbage can." But still, we all worry. We all think about what we should do.

Do we let them sink so they will learn to swim? Or do we step in and fix it all, prevent them from suffering?

It takes strength to choose the former, to recognize that our kids need to learn from their mistakes in order to become better people.

What this mother has done in turning her sons into the police is perhaps the greatest act of love she could have committed on their behalf. She thought they were involved in something unspeakably wrong, and instead of hiding it, she's forcing them out in the open, where they may have to answer for their alleged crimes. If it turns out these boys did this to Autumn, they will be incarcerated, hopefully rehabilitated. They may not come out of prison better, but there's certainly a greater chance of that than if they were allowed to get away with such a horrific crime.

What would you say to this mom today if you could?

 

Image via National Center for Missing & Exploited Children

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nonmember avatar shelly

I would tell her thank you, and I'm sorry. I can't even imagine being the parents of the girl, or their boys. In a way, she lost her children, too. Not that I'm downplaying the pain of the girl's family. I just can't imagine being the mother of a murdered child, or the mother of murderers. A tragedy all around.

lovec... lovechild419

Wow Jeanne,my heart was in my throat reading this.You raise a truly thought provoking,and to any mother reading this,myself included,a frightening question..what would you do??


Honestly,initially I couldnt answer that..I'd like to say I'd do the right thing as well..What a tragedy this is for all involved..


Although Autumn left this world in a horrific way.she is now in a glorious place with angel wings.It is those left that will forever suffer from this and my heartfelt prayers and condolences are with them

Beth McCormack Bernitt

OK you say act of love ...I say it is one of fear. If your child is capable of this atrocity what else are they capable of? You maybe next ! She did the right thing, but where did she go wrong??? I am sure that is all she can think about.  A poor little girl helpless vs. greedy monsters that knew better.

Jenny... JennyG0929

If nothing else, she brought some sort of closure for the girl's family and the community worried about the killer among them.

nonmember avatar Ben

Is this same mother who allowed her boys to run a bicycle chop shop in her house? Everyone in the town knew these boys were bike thieves, even their estranged father knew. She is no saint, she did nothing about their little criminal enterprise until they crossed the line into murder.

jalaz77 jalaz77

I would. I know I would. I can't even imagine what that would be like. First knowing someone in the neighborhood was murdered but your own kids were responsible. How horrible, at least they have an answer but a family, in a sense has a lost too, not like the victim though.

cmjaz cmjaz

Maybe mom realized that she could have raised two potential serial killers and that was just too much for her. I applaud her for the strength it took to call the cops on her sons, regardless of what the home life was like.

nonmember avatar Anon

You aren't the first to feel sorry for her. Fact is, parenting can influence how kids turn out, but it doesn't guarantee anything. Every murderer was someone's little boy or girl. I don't know what exactly her feelings were, but regardless, keeping it quiet would be very unlikely to work in any case. Might as well get it over with. I will give her the benefit of the doubt that she did this because she was horrified and knew it was the right thing to do.

nonmember avatar Theresa

I read about this situation this morning and I can honestly say this woman is truly a mother. She was able to get past her own pain of discovering what her sons likely did, and put herself in the shoes of another mother. When I was a child I, along with other children on the playground, witnessed one of my older brother's friends stab another teen in his chest. Though he fled the playground, his mother brought him in to the police station the next day. These two women are both brave and curageous. Nothing less. Turning in your child, knowing that it may result in their lives forever being ruined takes a special kind of strength.

Donna Lee Scott

I would tell her had she been home with her Children like a regular mom they wouldn't have had the opportunity available to kill her. She didn't live there for anyone who doesn't know.

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