It's an all-too-familiar story. Teenager gets some freedom. Teenager gets drunk. Teenager dies from alcohol poisoning while his helpless friends watch.
This is what happens when we make kids so scared of getting caught with alcohol that they’re terrified to calls us when something goes wrong. This is what Brett Finbloom's family is living with today. They were supposed to be saying goodbye as he left for college. Instead they're saying goodbye forever. And it all could have been prevented with just one phone call ... if only the teenagers in that room weren't terrified that they were going to get in trouble.
Parents! If this isn't a sign that we need to change the whole discussion about alcohol, I don't know what is.
Ironically, Brett’s friends needn’t have worried about getting in trouble. They live in Indiana, a state where an underage drinker who calls for assistance for a friend is given full immunity from prosecution. The law protects the intoxicated kid as long as they wait for police to arrive -- essentially making sure the cops actually find their friends in time.
The law is a nice idea, and it should be spread to other states. But frankly parents shouldn’t need lawmakers to tell them that they should cut their kids a break when they call them drunk.
I’m not stupid. I don't want my kid going out and getting drunk, but face it: it's more or less a teenage rite of passage. Some 72 percent of teenagers admit they've consumed alcohol. Sure, your kid could be in that 28 percent, but do you really want to chance it?
We need to make the conversation less about “OMG, if I ever catch you, I’m going to kill you” and more about responsibility, more about safety. Kids shouldn't be so terrified of getting in trouble over a few cans of beer that they get behind the wheel after a few too many and drive their car straight into a tree. Kids shouldn't be so terrified of calling their parents and admitting they've gotten a little hammered that they let their friend die.
What have you told your kids you will do if you catch them drinking?
Image via stevendepolo/Flickr
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Comments 42
There is a valid medical reason why the drinking age is 21, a person's brain is not fully developed. And I don't believe in making my child so scared that they would be afraid to come to me, but I also don't think I should say, "hey if you ever get drunk, call me", I don't think we should encourage underage drinking.
What we need is ad companies and tv shows to stop making drinking and getting drunk cool. It isn't, it is stupid, irrisponsible and dangerous. People die all the time becasue they don't know when to stop or pass out and their friends don't realize they are dying. I have never understood why drinking is percieved as cool and yes, I was in the 28% of teenages who never drank, I still don't drink. And there is a damn good reason, my father died because of it. At 32 years old he killed his liver. That isn't even mentioning the plethera of other alcoholics in my family.
And I don't mean to be insensitive, what happened is tragic, but if he hadn't been drinking, if he hadn't thought it was so cool, he would still be here. I feel we need to ensure our children don't not try to make it easier for them to do it.
instead of blaming this on the parents, let's put the liability where it belongs..if these kids were old enough to go off on their own to college, they are old enough to be responsible for this. Parental liability only goes so far, if these kids had been responsible for other areas of their life, maybe this wouldn't have happened..too many kids now days, don't have consequences because all the adults in their lives make excuses for them,,just like the auther of this article....point proven!
This happened in my town with people I know only they were doing heavy drugs. They laid him on his side so he didn't choke on his own vomit and they left. My kids aren't old enough to talk to about this yet but I will teach them to be responsible, not stupid.
When I was younger I was stupid and got drunk. My mom came and got me and laid into me pretty bad. My dad laughed and told me to sleep it off and he would talk to me in the morning. My parents always told me to call when ever I needed them for anything. I was glad that I had parents that I respected, feared and could count on. The next day my mom wanted to continue to rant and my dad said that my hangover was a lesson. Yeah I got into trouble, mainly grounded, but I was never afraid to call. With my kids who are coming into their teen years (that makes me feel old) will be told the same thing. I will always be there for them and yes they will get a lecture and if they are drop down drunk, their own hangover will be the one thing that they will learn from too. I want them to know that no matter the situation they are loved and taken care of.
i haven't had to deal with a drunk teenager yet. mydaughter has been raised on the fact, that if you tell truth, if you have wronged, you get a lighter scentence. lol baically if she tells on herself, i don't punish her. what is wrong is everyone is too worried about mmj and not spreading the word about how bad other things are. this is so sad.
We talk to our kids about drinking all the time. Our kids range in age from 21 to 3 and we have a very open dialogue about it as my husband is a recovering alcoholic and he doesn't want the kids to make his same mistakes. We advise them not to drink but we are realistic. They know that no matter where they are, no matter what time of day or what day of the week they can call us we will come get them. No judgement or lectures. However they will be doing lots of hard work the following day. Nothing like a day filled with manual labor when you have a raging hang over! I would rather have to lose some sleep then have to pick them up from jail or worse. Thank goodness we have never had to implement this rule and with any luck we never will.