It was hard to watch gymnast Gabby Douglas' triumph at the Olympics this week without feeling a sort of parental pride. The first black American to win an individual gold in gymnastics, she did it at just 16! She's an amazing kid.
But she couldn't have done it if her mom hadn't been willing to do something few parents could. Natalie Hawkins sent her daughter halfway across the country at just 14 years old, all alone.
In a moving interview about her decision to let teenage Gabby train with a gymnastics coach in Iowa while she and her other kids stayed behind in their native Virginia, Hawkins made no bones about how tough the decision was. And she was pretty hard on herself, telling the AP, "I'm thinking to myself the whole time, 'What kind of mother does something like that?'"
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I'd say the kind of mother who realizes being a parent means doing what's best for your kid, even when it hurts you to do it.
I don't know if I could send my child to live without me in another town, in another state at any age. Part of me would be wracked with worry that something would happen to her. Part of me would be missing her so badly it hurt.
But if I step away from it all, I realize that my fears would likely be silly -- after all, bad things can happen anywhere -- and my desire to keep her in my home so I wouldn't miss her would be selfish.
I can't fault Hawkins for making this sacrifice for Gabby. Here she had this kid with an immense talent, but the resources in their town weren't enough to help foster it. She made the tough choice, but she made the one that was best for her kid. Isn't that what being a good mom is all about?
Do you think you could do what Gabby Douglas' mom did for her?
Image via Ronald Martinez/Getty Images
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Comments 41
That's funny, because I could have sworn that Ms. Sager only said that Gabby's mother did what she thought was best for HER child, as all parents should strive to do. I didn't read anything in there that was preachy and judgmental, unlike what I read in your post. What you wrote was not an opinion, it was a judgment on parents who made or make decisions for their children that you don't agree with. It's not a sign of bad parenting because YOU don't agree with it. I think the one who needs to chill here is you.
I have to admit I would find it so very hard to let my child go at such a young age. I would hope that her mother did a lot of research into the coach, and made sure it was safe, checked in on her I am sure and various other ways of making sure she was safe before just letting her go on a plane blindfolded. After that though, there is no reason to hold her back if the girl was truly motivated to do this. She could always have decided to come back home and that the training was not for her. Try not to hold your children back from their dreams just because you are afraid of letting them go as a parent. It will always be hard to let them go, no matter how old they are, they are always babies in your eyes. That never gets easier.
Technically Kathy read what she read not heard what she heard but that's really neither here nor there .. Also Dawn has it exactly right it's not a sign of bad parenting if it's not something you agree with. Short of neglecting or abusing your child you do what you want with your children raise them how you want and I will raise mine how I want.
I don't know honestly it's never come up yet. If my child exhibited a lot of talent and potential and it was there dream to train at that studio/gym whatever and go to the Olympics. I would seriously consider it I would probably go with them the first month or so just to observe make sure it was still something they wanted and my doors and arms would be open if they decided not to do it. And my ears if they just had a bad day at practice I would be there with a pep talk as well that way they don't ever look back on there life and think. "Why did I give up?"
Her mom is awesome. She didn't let what other short sighted people think get in her way. She knew what was right for her family and did it. Now Gabby has acheived her dream, is already getting endorsements and proving to her mom she made the right choice. It wouldn't have worked for eveyone but for THIS mom it did.
banana-bear, your comment was just foolish. If you know anything about these athletes they send about 5-6 each day practicing their "hobby". This is this girls career and many of these young ladies have to leave home to go train with their trainer. A top trainer is hard to find, even harder to get them to agree to train you. Maybe if you watch the video, Gabby's mother made a very hard deisicon to let her daughter go. And the family that took Gabby in. is a verry amazing family. Other athletes home school so they can train almost all day. To to call going to the Olympics a hobby is a insult to ever athlete who spend their days and nights working their butts off to get there.