It was hard to watch gymnast Gabby Douglas' triumph at the Olympics this week without feeling a sort of parental pride. The first black American to win an individual gold in gymnastics, she did it at just 16! She's an amazing kid.
But she couldn't have done it if her mom hadn't been willing to do something few parents could. Natalie Hawkins sent her daughter halfway across the country at just 14 years old, all alone.
In a moving interview about her decision to let teenage Gabby train with a gymnastics coach in Iowa while she and her other kids stayed behind in their native Virginia, Hawkins made no bones about how tough the decision was. And she was pretty hard on herself, telling the AP, "I'm thinking to myself the whole time, 'What kind of mother does something like that?'"
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I'd say the kind of mother who realizes being a parent means doing what's best for your kid, even when it hurts you to do it.
I don't know if I could send my child to live without me in another town, in another state at any age. Part of me would be wracked with worry that something would happen to her. Part of me would be missing her so badly it hurt.
But if I step away from it all, I realize that my fears would likely be silly -- after all, bad things can happen anywhere -- and my desire to keep her in my home so I wouldn't miss her would be selfish.
I can't fault Hawkins for making this sacrifice for Gabby. Here she had this kid with an immense talent, but the resources in their town weren't enough to help foster it. She made the tough choice, but she made the one that was best for her kid. Isn't that what being a good mom is all about?
Do you think you could do what Gabby Douglas' mom did for her?
Image via Ronald Martinez/Getty Images
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Comments 41
If that were my child, it would be the hardest thing in the world to do. But if this were my daughter's dream, I would want to do everything possible to make it happen. And bananabear, I won't attack you for your position but I think it's a little shortsighted. And you stated that you would just move with your child instead of letting her go alone. But she had other kids. Maybe moving would have meant losing her job . . . and lord knows, competing at an Olympic level has to be financially draining. And maybe she couldn't uproot her other children. But you can look at Gabby and see how happy she is. This isn't something that her mom pushed her to do. This is her dream. And her mother obviously did the right thing: her daughter is happy AND Gabby has two gold medals to her name! Competing at this level obviously means sacrifices and not JUST for the gymnast herself.
Oh Floridamom...at least you're consistent..."not the mark of good parenting" because you wouldn't do it?? How wonderfully sanctimonius of you!
For me it would depend on the age of the child. I'd consider it once my son reached high school, so 14. But it would also depend on the child and their maturity level. Would definitely be hard though!
I don't think that anyone could look at what Gabby Douglas has conducted herself this week and say that she has been the product of bad parenting. Not only has she been physically near perfect, she has conducted herself with class, integrity, and shown the mental toughness of a girl who is mature beyond her years.
Oh banana-bear, your poor children. It's too bad you wouldn't want something like this for them. That wouldn't be good. Because collecting marbles would be such a better "hobby!"
Hobby?? Seriously?? An Olympic gold medal winner is just doing a "hobby?"
Also here's the definition of "infamy!" Just so you'll know the next time you need to make yourself sound like such a wonderful parent and role mode!! Good God! Talk about selfish parenting.
I'm so happy that Gabby's mother made this choice so ALL OF US can love her daughter as much as she does.
I agree with everyone about Banana lady. Gymanstics or any sport can be a full time job. She can go on and teach Gymnastics for a living. She will be making SO much money now that she has won the Gold medal. Dont be such a debbie downer. Learn to losen up a little. I gave up A LOT for my now 20 yr old daughter to have a softball career. She started at 6 yrs old and didnt stop until she was 18 yrs old. It took MANY hours of practice, training, not playing with friends, not dating boys, not going to parties and endless nights and weekends of getting home late at night from playing all day long in tournaments. She was throwing a 61 mph fastball when she stopped playing. If the Olympics ALLOWED Softball she would have went. It kept her mind on her grades and NOT on boys!
Floridamom -
Tell me, who died and made you the good parenting police? Maybe the decision Gabby's mother made wasn't the right decision for YOUR family but that doesn't make it a wrong decision in general. And despite your obvious self-absorbed, perfect parent attitude, you do not own the market on deciding what constitutes good parenting. Nobody does.
Kathy, the same person who died and made Jeanne Sager the arbiter of what equals gold medal parenting. It's called having an opinion and matters no more nor no less than yours or anyone else's. Chill. Furthermore, you'll notice that I did not actually criticize the choices this mother made. I said, (and I quote) "it's not the mark of good parenting", meaning that this action is not what defines a parent as good (or bad). It is Jeanne Sager's premise that this decision makes Ms. Douglas' mom an exceptional parent. I disagree with that premise.