In addition to there being a time to be born and a time to die, a time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to make peace and a time to war, there’s also a time to be a fabulous glamazon and a time to forget the prissy details and get the darn job done. So I, for the life of me, cannot figure out why anyone would criticize an Olympian’s hair, much less the hair of a 16-year-old Olympian. But poor Gabby Douglas has somehow stumbled into the crosshairs of some unbridled broads who have taken to Twitter to critique the poor girl’s seemingly uneventful bun.
Honestly, I didn’t even know there even was a controversy about the child’s updo until my editor brought it to my attention. If I didn’t notice anything was amiss—and I’ve been following Gabby and her teammates since the trials—then it surely can’t be that bad because even if I never publicly acknowledge something that’s pure hotnessness, I will still do a silent headshake at it in the privacy of my own thoughts. But I haven’t. I mean, the girl is an athlete, and a kick-ass one at that. A ponytail strapped down with clips and maybe some brown gel seems just about right for someone who sweats through what is, for me, unfathomable amounts of leaping and running and jumping and twisting and twirling and flipping and falling.
So I don’t know what kind of cascading falls of flawnessness said critics expect her to maintain while she’s sweating her way through floor exercise and uneven bars, but in the true spirit of a heckler’s signature nothing-better-to-do commentary, the focus hasn’t been squarely on the gold she earned, but the way her weave is styled. And this backlash has come largely from black women who should just be glad we have some representation on the gymnastics team to begin with. I mean, Dominique Dawes had to retire sometime and there haven’t been many little brown girls in major competition since. Perspective, people.
Sisters take our tresses really seriously. We’ll sleep in awkward positions to avoid laying on them, we’ll spend obscene amounts of time and money grooming them, we’ll check and recheck the weather to plan accordingly lest—dear sweet baby Jesus—there be a downpour of unexpected rain that threatens the perfection that is a fresh hairdo. So with that kind of ride or die allegiance propelling their equally fiery superficiality, the outbreak of snarkiness has diminished the power of Gabs' achievement. She’s in London to win gold and she has. Twice. But critics are suggesting she needs to get a perm, ditch the ponytail, or make it her business to get a better weave.
Yet I see grown women walking around every day who, from the forehead up, are fabulous but alas, from the neck down look like they ain’t lifted their rumps to do so much as a squat or a knee bend since the Clinton administration. If you can’t tumble, if you can’t do a split, hell, if you can’t run from the bathroom back to the TV during a commercial break without getting winded, you need to zip it. Besides, Gabby can wear a leotard in public without sucking anything in or wondering what’s flapping out behind, so three cheers for her!
Besides, I don't know what your hair looked like when you were 16, but I think I was deep into my Poetic Justice braid phase. But instead of getting them redone regularly like a normal person, I straightened just the new growth and kept it moving. The fact that my follicles even agree to push out any strands after that foolishness is a living testimony. So Gabby is doing fine, as far as I’m concerned. And at least she’ll have two gold medals to go along with her hair memories, if she can even recall something so insignificant.
What kind of hair disasters did you have when you were a teenager?
Image via GabrielleDouglas.com
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Comments 19
Its a shame that it got this much talk. Instead of being excited because she represents little girls and especially little girls in the black community, she gets flack for her hair.
Congrats Gabby. We were excited to watch you, my daughter especially because her name is also Gabby. Congrats again on your two Gold Medals.
P.S. I also enjoyed hearing that you giving praise to God.
Really? Her hair is what they are talking about? What about her accomplishments, her grace, her giant freakin' smile when she knew she had the gold?!! Seriously, even on TV she seems like a great person with great talent. I think everyone watching smiled at the TV when she smiled ear-to-ear with her victory.
"Ballet buns" are filled with bobby pins or whatever. You can't have that stuck to the back of your head, when you're doing forward rolls on a balance beam! You need something that (1) is going to squish down and not hurt you, possibly affecting your balance or the trick that you are performing, and (2) you can just put there and know it's going to stay.
And really? Here HAIR??? Christ on a bike, people will find ANYTHING to complain about!! If you want an Olympic Gymnastics Controversy to debate, how about Jordyn Weiber being kept out of the All-Around because of this stupid new "two gymnasts per country" rule?
I read this article yesterday and could not believe people were criticizing her hair. I was telling my husband (even before I saw this piece) that I loved her and thought she was adorable. I think she is so cute mainly because she always has the biggest smile on her face. I am so glad that she won gold in the All-Around finals. I am in awe of her talent. She seems very mature for a 16 year old.
Also, I could be wrong but I think it is mainly the black community who is doing the criticizing. I guess they think she should have had a stylist or something to do her hair. But she had way more things to worry about than her hair. Thank goodness because if she had been focused solely on her hair, she would not have two gold medals to her name!