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Parents Refuse to Give Up on Severely Autistic Daughter & Inspire Us All

by Deborah Cruz on July 27, 2012 at 9:18 PM

Carly FleischmanI stumbled upon a story recently that inspired me and renewed my faith in the belief that there are miracles happening all around us. At the age of 2, Carly Fleischman was diagnosed with severe autism and an oral motor condition that prevented her from speaking. When she was diagnosed, doctors told her parents that she would never develop intellectually beyond the abilities of a 6-year-old child. Can you imagine the sadness you would feel knowing that you may never get the chance to know their child’s thoughts, hopes, and dreams? The thought of never getting to hear your baby say their first words or call you “Mommy” would be devastating.

Her parents had no idea if she could spell; understand the meaning of the words, let alone, type. They had spent years being told that they should give up and put Carly in a group home. Friends and family watched as Carly’s parents struggled to connect with their little girl and over and over again, no great success was made. But they could and would not give up on their little girl. They carried on putting everything they had into reaching Carly. They refused to stop fighting for a chance to know their little girl.

One day at the age of 11, life profoundly changed for Carly and her family. Out of nowhere, Carly began to communicate with the outside world by typing words on the computer. After thousands of hours of intensive behavioral and communication therapy, she typed her first word, “MEAN” referring to her therapist’s efforts to redirect her back to therapy. Then she typed, “TEETH HURT.” After years of not knowing if Carly understood anything that was being said to her, it was obvious that she had understood it all.

This was the first step of Carly's journey toward self-realization. Carly still struggles with all the symptoms of autism, which she describes with uncanny accuracy and detail, she now has regular, witty, and profound conversations on the computer with her family, her therapists, and the thousands of people who follow her via her blog, Facebook, and Twitter

In March of this year, Carly, 17, along with her father, Arthur Fleischman, published Carly’s Voice: Breaking Through Autism. The book is a combination of Carly’s firsthand experience with autism in her own words and her dad’s story of finally getting to know his amazing daughter. In a matter of 6 years, Carly has gone from being a child who could not communicate with the outside world to being a young woman who is pioneering the way for the world to truly understand autism. And this because two parents refused to give up on their daughter. They followed their hearts and it paid off in dividends.

Carly never showed any signs of understanding what her parents were saying to her, but they never gave up and one day, she broke through. She's smart, witty, funny -- but no one knew because she couldn't tell them. No one knew what was going on inside her head. But what if she never communicated and they never knew she was in there understanding everything going on around her? She was imprisoned in her body. After all, this is the same child that doctors said was retarded.

As a parent, this has to be one of the most difficult things to ever go through. When our children are babies, they cry and we look for cues but as they get older we expect them to talk to us. What if they couldn't? Do we just make assumptions and give up? I don’t think I could ever give up on my child. Carly’s parents kept believing and working with her and NOW they know their daughter. They know her thoughts, hopes, and dreams and that is pretty incredible.


Image via Pamlau/ Flickr

Filed Under: inspiring teens

Comments

21
  • jessi...
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    jessicasmom1

    July 27, 2012 at 9:48 PM

    what a great story .. never give up!


  • T.w.
    -- Nonmember comment from

    T.w.

    July 27, 2012 at 10:06 PM
    Wow, this gives me unbelievable hope for my 12 year old! However tuffymama's comments about grammar remind me of why I left this club, lol. Could'nt it have been an inspirational story for mothers of seemingly "lost" autistic children, instead of you typing a post railing against grammatical "sins"? Author, this is an amazing story, and it gives me another beautiful view of my daughter, thank you!
  • Misty...
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    Misty.Dawn

    July 27, 2012 at 10:17 PM
    however you wrote it, whatever mistakes...doesnt matter. AMAZING story! Brought tears to my eyes. (maybe thats why i didnt notice the errors, i was being touched by the point of the article) just goes to show that miracles do happen :)
  • Lilyp...
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    Lilypad523

    July 27, 2012 at 10:22 PM

    I need a little clarification: Is Carly the one doing the typing? There have been stories where a therapist says that the child is typing, when really, the therapist is doing the typing. It's a lovely story if it's true, but given the horrific stories I have heard about therapists who make things up, I'm not sure I believe that the words come from the little girl, unless she is typing them herself. Not to sound cynical...studied this in school, that's why I ask. If anyone could clarify, that would be great :)


  • Jenni...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Jenni Wilson

    July 27, 2012 at 10:36 PM

    @Lilypad523, click on the link to her blog or her facebook page, you'll see that she is indeed the one doing the typing.

    Amazing story! Brought tears to my eyes :)


  • momto...
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    momtolittleg

    July 27, 2012 at 10:52 PM

    Her website is eye-opening!  Awesome that she is able to give insights into the way her brain works, in an effort to help herself and others!


  • kayakmom
    -- Nonmember comment from

    kayakmom

    July 28, 2012 at 12:23 AM
    I worked with so many autistic children through the years. I am so glad to see more success stories like this then ever before. Cheers to parents who are steadfast in finding what works for their child. Ive seen technology, visual aids (pecs) programs do wonders. Not to mention the hard,work,the kids themselves do.. Thank,you again for writing this article!
  • lifeh...
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    lifehappy

    July 28, 2012 at 2:32 AM

    I've been a "fan" of Carly's on FB for a couple of years now. She is witty and inspiring, and offers so much insider information to those looking to understand autism better. It has helped me become more patient and more communicative with my daughter, who is on the spectrum.


  • Jenniy
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    Jenniy

    July 28, 2012 at 7:58 AM
    My youngest was 2 1/2 months old I was told he'd never sit up, crawl, talk, walk, feed himself or be out of diapers. He's 4 1/2 now and he sat up at 2 1/2, crawled at 3 1/2 and is pulling to a stand now at 4 1/2. He was fitted for leg braces so he can get stronger and learn to walk. I will never give up on him, just her parents never gave up on her. Kids can surprise you and beat the odds the doctors give them. :)
  • Mindy
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Mindy

    July 28, 2012 at 12:46 PM
    What a BEAUTIFUL story with such an inspiring message!
    This truly touched my heart and my prayers and gratitude go out to this family! I am raising 5 children besides my 3 biological. The adopted children (all siblings, at least same mom) come from a VERY ABUSIVE HISTORY (physical, sexual, mental, starvation, neglect) and many mental health issues as well as neurological problem. Most all had learning disabilities, 2 with "BIPOLAR" and just sooo much to list. Anyway, my point is that if everyone could at least be aware of how many children are afflicted with things that society frowns upon and often suggest "group homes" there REALLY IS HOPE! We were told NOT to adopt our 19 year old (was 4yrs) at the time. They said she was UNadoptable and needed to be in an institution! YES, we have faced many issues but she has grown to be a beautiful, loving, caring, smart young woman whi is VERY determined! She has a job, attends college part time, owns her own car, pays rent and still gives money to ANYONE who ask, even if it is her very last dollar! So PLEASE, do NOT ever give up hope or "discard these children" because you never know who and/or what they can become!
    Gob bless you for LOVING AND NEVER GIVING UP ON YOUR DAUGHTER!
    Much respect to you,
    Mindy
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