Tell me if you've heard this one: "Aww, she's cute now, but just wait until she's a teenager." I have. At least a few times a week, someone, usually someone who has a teenager at home, decides to pee in my Corn Flakes.
Yes. I get it. I have read the books. My daughter will one day be an acne-ridden mess of hormones and angst just like yours. But while you're busy trying to ruin my day, I'm one of those "when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade, heavy on the vodka" kind of moms. Lucky for you, I share.
So here's something to BRIGHTEN your day ... a look at why parents of teenagers have it a lot better than they think they do (even with all that door slamming and OMG, I hate you, Mom stuff):
1. Sleeping until noon on a Saturday is now officially back on your agenda. It's not like your kids are going to need you until 1 ... at the earliest.
2. Sex in the afternoon is back. It's not like they'll be caught dead coming anywhere near your room when the door is closed ... and the sound of their iPod drowns out any noise anyway.
3. If they "hate" what you make for dinner, they can go make their own peanut butter and jelly sandwich while you enjoy cauliflower mash that is still warm.
4. Kid-free Sunday afternoons? Three words sponsored by the term "working papers."
5. They may refuse to actually touch any of your clothes in the dryer; however, it has been years since you've found a horribly misshapen bra that was used as any of the following: slingshot, teddy bear earmuffs, "fancy" carrier for Barbies.
6. Taking them clothes shopping means going all by yourself to paw through the sale rack at The Gap for something you want to wear (where you will find that not one single sales clerk greets you with a look of terror).
7. You've seen more than one movie released in the last six months that did not rely heavily on talking animals to further the plot. Wait, scratch that. You've seen an actual movie. As in the whole thing.
8. When you read a book, you don't have to read it out loud unless there's a "Holy crap, this is so twisted and funny that you have to hear this Honey" kind of paragraph.
9. When your mother passes down a priceless family heirloom, your first thought was not "Oh shit, where am I going to hide this so it doesn't get broken?"
10. You pee alone. Every. Single. Time.
So there you have it. The scent of teen spirit may be heavy on the Axe and dirty gym socks, but there's something sweet in there too.
What are the good parts of the teen years that you are excited about?
Image by Jeanne Sager