Isabella Cruise and Connor CruiseThe minute news broke that Katie Holmes had filed for divorce from Tom Cruise, the questions about Suri followed. It's only natural. She's only 6. But it makes the uncertain future for Connor Cruise and Bella Cruise that much sadder, doesn't it?
Tom's teenage children from his marriage to Nicole Kidman don't spend much time in the spotlight, but mentions of the kids have come most from Katie in recent years. She seemed like a stepmom who truly enjoyed her stepkids, and they her. Now they're caught up in the middle of divorce, yet again, and all anyone wants to talk about, including Katie it seems, is their baby sister.
Bella may be 17 and Connor 19, but I'm going to say it: can't these poor kids catch a break? They deserve a little piece of the sympathy pie here too.
Katie may not be their "mother," but the rumor mill has spit out a lot about what life has been like for Tom's older kids, and not much of it is good. Nicole -- who we all know is remarried herself with two adorable little tots -- has told members of the media over the years that she would like to see Bella and Connor more but doesn't. It's always implied that this is somehow Tom's fault, although the blatant claims that Sir Freaky has pushed mom and kids apart have come largely from former members of the cult of Scientology.
Regardless, we know these two kids haven't had much contact with one mom ... who now has two younger children. That's hard on a kid to begin with.
Then there's mom number two, Katie, who they DID have a lot of contact with. (That picture above? It was taken when they were going to see her perform somewhere.) But it looks like she's gone too, and putting up a public fight once again for a younger sibling leaving Bella and Connor alone with Tom ... again.
You can't blame Katie for fighting for her biological daughter, but you could see how it could be misread by some angsty, hormonal teenagers as a smack at them, can't you? It's not hard to imagine Bella and Connor are feeling left out in the cold. Both parents have remarried, both have had additional children, and those cute little kids get big time love while the teenagers are sort of ignored.
Ignoring the teenagers in the midst of divorce isn't singular to celebrity splits, and I don't think a lot of parents even realize they're doing it. There's this focus on the little ones because they don't understand, and they "need" parents to do things for them that older kids don't.
But that's just it: the older kids don't "need," and therefore, they don't get the attention that comes in the everyday stuff like cutting up their dinner and serving them or running their bath. You need to make a special effort with teenagers to make sure they're getting the support they need, and at least one half of the equation -- the mother figure for Bella and Connor -- isn't around to do that.
The other problem? Kids Suri's age don't understand what's going on, but there's a blessing in that. Teenagers understand everything, and I'm betting there is no shielding Bella and Connor from all the dirty details in the press right now!
Here's hoping someone can swoop in and give these kids the support they need right now ... even if that means taking a little away from Suri.
Have you handled a divorce with teenagers? Any tips for TomKat?
Image via Pacific Coast News
This Hot Dad Wants to Do Your Ironing
KStew Refuses to Shower
This Hot Dad Wants to Cook You Dinner
This Hot Dad Cooks AND Does the Dishes
Comments 12
Quick thing: Bella is 19, connor is 17. Theres a lot of rumours going on that Nicole doesnt see her kids because they dont want to see her (she has said this herself). They were raised scientologists, and the church (and presumably, by extension, her kids) see Nicole as a subversive personality. So I wouldnt say that Nicole doesnt want to see her kids--in fact most interviews with her indicate that she would like to see them more, but they dont want to see her.
Also, sorry, but Katie has no biological ties. and she never sought any legal ties to Tom's other kids, so she has no rights to them. And vice-versa. It might suck that they are losing Katie, but there is really no reason to bring the older children into this divorce at all.
Bella and Connor isolated themselves from Nicole Kidman purposefully. The "church" told them that their mother was a 'Submissive' and they ex-communicated from her. It is not Nicole's fault that Tom Cruise wielded his power over the children.
As far as I've seen, Katie's pretty much kept her mouth shut about everything so far. Other than filing for divorce and asking for custody of Suri in the divorce petition. That doesn't mean she's ignoring her stepchildren. I'm sure her attorney advised her that she doesn't have any custodial rights to Bella and Connor, so they weren't included in the court filings. Teenagers are pretty good at spending time with whoever they decide they want to spend time with. Especially when they probably have easy access to transportation like I would imagine Connor and Bella do!
I was 11 when my own parents divorced, and I was 19 when my father divorced his second wife. Granted, I was a little older than these two, but I think you're underestimating their ability to process and deal with the divorce. I realized quickly that the second divorce, while still very difficult to deal with, was not really about me at all, aside from the fact that my dad was part of it. They had a young son, my half brother, and I was concerned about *him* and how *he* was feeling, because I had been through it years before. Katie's focus can and should be about her and Suri and moving on. She can still have a relationship with these teens if they want to, I stlil talk to my dad's second wife. But the divorce isn't about them at all. And implying that it could "ruin their lives" is just silly. They are much more resilient people than you're giving them credit for, I'd say even more than I can imagine having lived in the public eye all of their lives.
The *Cult* word gets overused,but in some cases it is appropriate.
The definition of a destructive religious cult is like alcoholism-if booze controls you instead of the other way around you are an alcoholic.
I was in the Watchtower society Jehovah's Witnesses,they are not benevolent and won't let you leave their organization in peace.The Jehovahs are not without scandals-child abuse, sadistic mind control tactics, sex scandals, money scams, general bad behavior -- you know, religion.
Is it a cult?
If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck....
*tell the truth don't be afraid*- Danny Haszard
http://www.dannyhaszard.com/