When you are a mother living in an area where childcare is scarce, you learn to worship at the altar of the teenage babysitter. Mine has saved my sanity, my sense of humor, and then some. But the Connecticut mom who just got arrested for leaving her 13-year-old home alone to watch over her three youngest kids scared the dickens out of me.
Considering I -- and most former babysitters I know -- started watching over kids at 13 or even younger, if this is now criminal behavior, we're all in trouble. This is not like leaving a house full of toddlers! Using the oldest kid to watch the younger kids, especially, is a time-honored tradition.
Young's neighbor apparently called the cops to say the 4-year-old who lived across the street had wandered into her yard. They arrived to find Young's 13-year-old was alone in their house with siblings aged 10 and 1 1/2, plus the wandering 4-year-old, and charged Young -- who'd left to go to church but said a real babysitter was on the way to relieve the young teen -- with risk of injury to a minor.
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I get it ... sort of. Just because they're "old enough" to babysit doesn't mean they're necessarily good at it. At least Rebecca Young's teenager wasn't good enough at the gig to handle a handful of kids. That's where a parent has to make some tough decisions: whether it's the parent of the kids being babysat saying, "OK, this teen is great, but not so great with kids" or the mother of a teenager saying, "Sorry, but my child isn't mature enough to handle that many kids."
Not to mention: a teenager needs to know where to draw the line when they take on a babysitting gig, even if it is watching their own siblings. Three kids is a lot!
I love my babysitter in part because she knows her limits. I always ask her if she feels comfortable with a few more kids when my daughter is going to have a playdate, and I trust her to be honest with me. She usually says yes, but she has told me what kids she does NOT think she could handle.
I'm still uneasy about calling this criminal behavior. As CNN's Ashleigh Banfield pointed out in a debate over Young's arrest, even good moms have had a toddler wander out of the house. It happens. But it's certainly a wake-up call for parents.
What's the maximum number of kids you'd put in the hands of one teenage babysitter?
Image via petercastleton/Flickr
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Comments 154
It all depends on the situation. If you're running errands and not able to make the bus time- a half hour isn't gonna kill them- with an older teen watching over- lock the doors, make sure they have your cell number on the fridge and have them call when they get home. I'm leary about leaving my 2 year old in the hands of my 12 year old only cuz I know pple are crazy , anything can happen and what would happen if there was a serious emergency and the officers found I wasn't home. So - situation depends and the maturity of the oldest is of concern to each parent. But really- the neighbor couldn't offer to help until the babysitter or mom got back?
My brother began watching my 3 children (6, 4 & 2 at the time) when he was 14, for 4-6 hrs at a time. He was responsible, and my kids were all great for him. If I had any more children, I prob wouldn't have let him tho.
I found out last yr that my BIL& SIL had been letting their 11 yr old watch her two younger siblings (7 & 5 at the time) for hours. Not only that, it had been going on for a yr! That, is just extremely irresponsible & poor parenting.
I think when it comes time to talk about our older children babysitting younger siblings, they need to be mature enough and know their limits. And obviously, know what to do in emergencies. I can't wait until my oldest is enough for that, but I'm not pushing it.
I watched 3 girls one summer when I was 13. People need to quit being so judgemental of other people and stop trying to tell other people what they can or can't do. It was not illegal, the kid was old enough. Next thing you know, our kids will need car seats until the age of 18 or a height of 6 feet. People need to mind their own business and take care of their OWN house.
not all, but most, teenagers tend to worry more about talking on the phone, hanging w/ friends and themselves. i have a 15 and a 13 y/o who i might leave in charge while i run to the local grocery store but not more than a half an hour. normally i wait for my hubby to come home and go then.
WOW. Guess my parents would have been arrested hundreds of times since I started baby-sitting when I was nine! Not more than a few kids at once, but s*** happens ALL THE TIME. I know parents who let their kids wander unsupervised. Should we just go around and arrest everyone for the sake of being "PC"?? Ridiculous. Age has nothing to do with it...its about maturity people! I would let a 13 y/o watch my three kids in a heartbeat!!!