When you are a mother living in an area where childcare is scarce, you learn to worship at the altar of the teenage babysitter. Mine has saved my sanity, my sense of humor, and then some. But the Connecticut mom who just got arrested for leaving her 13-year-old home alone to watch over her three youngest kids scared the dickens out of me.
Considering I -- and most former babysitters I know -- started watching over kids at 13 or even younger, if this is now criminal behavior, we're all in trouble. This is not like leaving a house full of toddlers! Using the oldest kid to watch the younger kids, especially, is a time-honored tradition.
Young's neighbor apparently called the cops to say the 4-year-old who lived across the street had wandered into her yard. They arrived to find Young's 13-year-old was alone in their house with siblings aged 10 and 1 1/2, plus the wandering 4-year-old, and charged Young -- who'd left to go to church but said a real babysitter was on the way to relieve the young teen -- with risk of injury to a minor.
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I get it ... sort of. Just because they're "old enough" to babysit doesn't mean they're necessarily good at it. At least Rebecca Young's teenager wasn't good enough at the gig to handle a handful of kids. That's where a parent has to make some tough decisions: whether it's the parent of the kids being babysat saying, "OK, this teen is great, but not so great with kids" or the mother of a teenager saying, "Sorry, but my child isn't mature enough to handle that many kids."
Not to mention: a teenager needs to know where to draw the line when they take on a babysitting gig, even if it is watching their own siblings. Three kids is a lot!
I love my babysitter in part because she knows her limits. I always ask her if she feels comfortable with a few more kids when my daughter is going to have a playdate, and I trust her to be honest with me. She usually says yes, but she has told me what kids she does NOT think she could handle.
I'm still uneasy about calling this criminal behavior. As CNN's Ashleigh Banfield pointed out in a debate over Young's arrest, even good moms have had a toddler wander out of the house. It happens. But it's certainly a wake-up call for parents.
What's the maximum number of kids you'd put in the hands of one teenage babysitter?
Image via petercastleton/Flickr
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Comments 154
Really when I was 13 -14 I used to watch 5 kids. Adults would be in and out of the house during the day in the summer and I was basically alone for periods of a few hours. I also watched 2-5 kids each Saturday night in the Summer so my Grandmother could go out and soemtimes during the year too. After school I watched 3-5 kids until my uncle and/or Mother came to pick up. I also watched the neighbors kids too. Maybe I was on the responsible end of a young teen, maybe I was brought up to help out and be responsible this way. Sometimes things happened like my sister cutting her head open on the neighbors screen door, bumps, bruises and the like but believe me I was much more attentive to the kids then my Aunt and Uncle ever were and much less happened on my watch then theirs. The fact that the Mom was arrested is crazy, and charged with risk of injury....come the F*** on. We need to be helping familys and this is the issue. How about the neighbor find out what going on or how about offering a babysitting class in 8 grade and/or highschool where the kids learn the basics and first aid. I can keep coming up with more suggestions if you want but I think we all get the point. Oh and I live in the offending state here too so this blows my mind.
At 13 I was babysitting my younger brother and sister(5 and 6 years younger then myself). And my sister is autistic and was quite the handful back then! Oh how I can still remember the screaming. I handled it just fine but I think that is inpart because my mother knew when to not leave us alone, say if my sister was having a particularly bad day. I think the writer is correct and it depends on the teen. Sidenote: I'm not a fan of lumping people into categories period.
When I lived in FL a police man told me the legal age for a babysitter was 18 years old. He also said, (off the record) it would not be a problem for a younger teen to baby sit as long as there were no problems and the police were not called.)
I knew 12 year old girls in Pondra Vedra that were paid up to $100.00 an hour. The parents of theses girls often came with their girls to baby sit, lol, as if that was really babysitting.
People can have different preferences on who they allow to babysit. But placing a mother in jail for this is terribly excessive. Keep in mind, there is no law in Connecticut about the age of a babysitter. This is a huge abuse of power.
It's not like the 13 year old was 'watching' 3 kids. Did you read the ages? One was 10 years old. A 10 year old is perfectly capable of behaving and even helping out the 13 year old. Not to mention they were siblings. For all we know the 10 year old and the 4 year old could have been playing outside and the 10 year old went in for a min to get something and the 4 year old took off. I'm not making excuses, just saying. Just another reason why I wish I was born decades ago so my children don't have to grow up in the world as we know it today.
Ok when I was 13 I was on my own at home, mowing the lawn, starting dinner and doing laundry most of the time. I was watching a newborn and 4-5 year old over summer break for a friend of mine's cousin. I would sometimes also watch the same 2 girls on Saturday nights until 11-12 at night. I know my sisters were watching me when they were that age and I have turned out alright. I left my oldest home in charge of his siblings when he was 12 and they were 9 while I was working. I think the neighbor must have something against this woman, why else do you call the cops instead of taking the child back home? I also would love to know why the mom didn't make sure the other sitter was there when she got to church or why she didn't bring them with her, since most church gatherings have some sort of childcare arranged. As for the 4 year old wandering off, I think as parents we all know that from 3-5 they can be out of sight in about 2 seconds. That could have happened even with the most watchful parent or sitter.
I came from a family of 7 kids so large numbers felt normal to me :)