When you are a mother living in an area where childcare is scarce, you learn to worship at the altar of the teenage babysitter. Mine has saved my sanity, my sense of humor, and then some. But the Connecticut mom who just got arrested for leaving her 13-year-old home alone to watch over her three youngest kids scared the dickens out of me.
Considering I -- and most former babysitters I know -- started watching over kids at 13 or even younger, if this is now criminal behavior, we're all in trouble. This is not like leaving a house full of toddlers! Using the oldest kid to watch the younger kids, especially, is a time-honored tradition.
Young's neighbor apparently called the cops to say the 4-year-old who lived across the street had wandered into her yard. They arrived to find Young's 13-year-old was alone in their house with siblings aged 10 and 1 1/2, plus the wandering 4-year-old, and charged Young -- who'd left to go to church but said a real babysitter was on the way to relieve the young teen -- with risk of injury to a minor.
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I get it ... sort of. Just because they're "old enough" to babysit doesn't mean they're necessarily good at it. At least Rebecca Young's teenager wasn't good enough at the gig to handle a handful of kids. That's where a parent has to make some tough decisions: whether it's the parent of the kids being babysat saying, "OK, this teen is great, but not so great with kids" or the mother of a teenager saying, "Sorry, but my child isn't mature enough to handle that many kids."
Not to mention: a teenager needs to know where to draw the line when they take on a babysitting gig, even if it is watching their own siblings. Three kids is a lot!
I love my babysitter in part because she knows her limits. I always ask her if she feels comfortable with a few more kids when my daughter is going to have a playdate, and I trust her to be honest with me. She usually says yes, but she has told me what kids she does NOT think she could handle.
I'm still uneasy about calling this criminal behavior. As CNN's Ashleigh Banfield pointed out in a debate over Young's arrest, even good moms have had a toddler wander out of the house. It happens. But it's certainly a wake-up call for parents.
What's the maximum number of kids you'd put in the hands of one teenage babysitter?
Image via petercastleton/Flickr
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Comments 154
Our children are so coddled these days it's a wonder they can wipe their own noses. I was left alone to care for my newborn sister in 9th grade of course I was taught responsibility at a young age, I was given chores that had to be done right. I would not put another child in the guidance of my 13 year old....because i know she is not machor enough, If she was I would let her sit one child and not any younger than 3.
I'm gonna look at this differently then y'all. She went to church why didn't she take her kids with her. what's wrong with taking your kids to church.
I have seen very capable 13 year olds baby sit- some are even better than the parents ! I know of a few parents who don't watch their kids- one - so called mother- had to call the police because her son had wondered off- he was always left alone- he was found about 1/2 mile away! and she was not arrested, and has another one on the way!!!! She is not capable of taking care ofher kids, where as my neighbor has 4 kids, the oldest watches them, and they are in better hands !!!! I think SOME 13 year olds act and are more responsible than the moms!
The 4yo could have easily wandered off on Mom's or Dad's watch -- mine has. Take the kid home, maybe say something to the mom that she might want to reassess if the 13yo is ready for that . . . but involve the cops? Arrest her? Then the mandatory CPS investigation, just because a 4yo wanders into the neighbor's yard? Whatever happened to community?
Call the police? She should have taken the child home and observed the situation first. Its not like she didn't know where the child came from. Our friend from school took care of her siblings from the age of maybe 11. She was quite mature, but I don't think a 13 year old is too young. The 4 year old is old enough to open the door and walk out. Even a locked house. Children can get chairs and unlock the door. Too bad she has to be arrested.
i'm 8 years old then my brother and i started babysitting him..... when i was 8 years old. i have a daughter that is 11 and my youngest is 8, and you better believe that when she is 13, i will let her "babysit" her younger brothers. people need to start minding their own business and start helping their neighbors out instead of trying to cause trouble for them.
This is ridiculous, there are 13 year olds out there having their own kids for crying out loud, do the parents of that 13 year old get arrested for letting that girl get pregnant?
I tarted babysitting my foster sisters 3 younger boys when i was 10. That neighbor was just a busy body and spiteful, lazy lady could have just as easily guided that toddler back to the home . Wandered into her yard, Oh brother let me tell you, America is ridiculous anymore.