Students Banned From Sharing News of College Acceptance (Seriously)

Eye Roll 75

graduation capsFor many high school students, the culmination of all of their years of hard work (or less than stellar effort) comes in the form of a letter from the colleges of their choice. A thin one sinks hearts, and a fat one has them shrieking to the world that they actually did it. Only if you're a student in New York, there's no shrieking allowed. In fact, students in some prep schools there are flat out banned from even announcing that they got into any college in person or via social media like Facebook. They're also not allowed to wear t-shirts or other gear on which their new school's name or logo is displayed.

Why? Because it might hurt the other students' feelings. I kid you not. The New York Post cites several examples of schools with such policies designed to minimize the pain for students who don't get into the college of their dreams.

I can't imagine a more ridiculous, over-the-top example of the coddling and kid gloves with which kids today are too often treated.

Sarah Tarrant, director of college counseling at Calhoun School, told the paper that students have weekly classes in which they learn “the appropriate way to share news of acceptance. “The weekly conversation reins in kids who might run around yelling, ‘I got in! I got in!’ ” she said.

It's even happening in public schools there.  Darby McHugh, college coordinator at Bronx HS of Science, told the paper:

It can be bad and it can get weird. We send a notice out to all faculty telling them, ‘Please don’t congratulate students in public, no high fives, no hugging, and please be sensitive so that if you see someone crying, you refer them to the college-adviser office immediately.

I'm truly floored and appalled. Students should go around shouting "I got in!" It's what they've worked so hard for all of these years, and they deserve some kudos. If someone else didn't, well, perhaps they should have studied more. Hard work should be rewarded, and no one should have to be afraid to tout their accomplishments out of fear over hurting someone's precious ego.
 
It's insulting to everyone involved, and it's no way to prepare students for the 'real' world in which they will be passed over for promotions, lose out on jobs, and not always get a bonus as big as their coworkers. That's life. Hopefully, they use those defeats to inspire them to work harder, and push themselves further. If not, then they have no one to blame but themselves. What's next, athletes not being able to announce their victories? Science fairs to ban the display of winning ribbons?

Competition is good for kids, and it's key to a productive society. For schools to mandate which accomplishments students can share and how is beyond overzealous, and seems like on a complete encroachment on freedom of speech.

Do you think this policy limiting students' ability to proclaim their acceptance to college is outrageous?
 
 
Image via shiladsen/Flickr

school

75 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Melis... Melissa042807

So...it's okay to cry and pout so the adults can all come running to mollycoddle you all the way to the college advisor's office, but it's not okay to be openly happy if you got accepted?


That's crap. 

navyw... navywife0204

it is!  So many of these kids are going out in the world and they are SO not prepared for the realities of life.  Competition is good for kids... it teaches them how to win and lose gracefully.

nonmember avatar Tracie

THIS is what's wrong with so many kids today.

Great... Greatdays

Such a nerve struck here.  My children of the "Me Generation" have at least 50 various sports trophies and they were not athletes.  We paid the fees and they showed up.  However, they were smart and their A's in AP classes earned them the same recognition as those who made A's in much lesser courses.  Sure building self-esteem is important in raising a child but, false accolades does not prepare them for life......My daughter has just been accepted to medical school at Vanderbilt and I'm afraid to post it on Facebook as it would be bragging or, hurt someone's feelings.  That's just not right.

navyw... navywife0204

Greatdays--  Congrats to your daughter for getting into Medical school!!  Go ahead and post it. You are proud of your daughter and you shouldn't be afraid to express that simply because someone might get hurt. 

Melis... Melissa042807

Greatdays - post the news!!! That's awesome your daughter got into med school! That takes some darn hard work and dedication and is worth celebrating. Congrats to her! :-)

ldbc ldbc

What a load of crap. Life is full of ups and downs, good news and bad news, disappointments, and celebrations. Its just part of life and kids need to learn how to deal with all of it. Life is NOT fair. Get over it. Get on with it. The end.

ldbc ldbc

What a load of crap. Life is full of ups and downs, good news and bad news, disappointments, and celebrations. Its just part of life and kids need to learn how to deal with all of it. Life is NOT fair. Get over it. Get on with it. The end.

jalaz77 jalaz77

If those kids are having an emotional fit now, wait until the real world!! This is freaking absurd!

nonmember avatar Sabrina

Wow, I think it's absurd they pull this kinda crap in elementary school. But in high school. When we protect our kids from every little dissapointment (such as loosing a soccer game, by insisting on not keeping score) we do not perpare them for the major disappointments we can't prevent. It's actually no wonder we are hearing more about teen suicides. As a society we are not teaching our kids the truth, that life is tough and somtimes you gotta suck it up. Somtimes there is failure and social rejection. It should not be the end of the world. But to kid who have been spared every minor dissapointment, it feels like the end, so it becomes the end.

This kind of coddling is also why so many older kids seem lost. When no one ever bothers to tell you that you're bad at something, you don't bother to get better or try something new instead.

What's the most troubling about this culture of coddling, is that it creates loosers who think they are winners. If you don't even know something is broken, how are you ever fix it.

1-10 of 75 comments 12345 Last
F