Students Banned From Sharing News of College Acceptance (Seriously)

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graduation capsFor many high school students, the culmination of all of their years of hard work (or less than stellar effort) comes in the form of a letter from the colleges of their choice. A thin one sinks hearts, and a fat one has them shrieking to the world that they actually did it. Only if you're a student in New York, there's no shrieking allowed. In fact, students in some prep schools there are flat out banned from even announcing that they got into any college in person or via social media like Facebook. They're also not allowed to wear t-shirts or other gear on which their new school's name or logo is displayed.

Why? Because it might hurt the other students' feelings. I kid you not. The New York Post cites several examples of schools with such policies designed to minimize the pain for students who don't get into the college of their dreams.

I can't imagine a more ridiculous, over-the-top example of the coddling and kid gloves with which kids today are too often treated.

Sarah Tarrant, director of college counseling at Calhoun School, told the paper that students have weekly classes in which they learn “the appropriate way to share news of acceptance. “The weekly conversation reins in kids who might run around yelling, ‘I got in! I got in!’ ” she said.

It's even happening in public schools there.  Darby McHugh, college coordinator at Bronx HS of Science, told the paper:

It can be bad and it can get weird. We send a notice out to all faculty telling them, ‘Please don’t congratulate students in public, no high fives, no hugging, and please be sensitive so that if you see someone crying, you refer them to the college-adviser office immediately.

I'm truly floored and appalled. Students should go around shouting "I got in!" It's what they've worked so hard for all of these years, and they deserve some kudos. If someone else didn't, well, perhaps they should have studied more. Hard work should be rewarded, and no one should have to be afraid to tout their accomplishments out of fear over hurting someone's precious ego.
It's insulting to everyone involved, and it's no way to prepare students for the 'real' world in which they will be passed over for promotions, lose out on jobs, and not always get a bonus as big as their coworkers. That's life. Hopefully, they use those defeats to inspire them to work harder, and push themselves further. If not, then they have no one to blame but themselves. What's next, athletes not being able to announce their victories? Science fairs to ban the display of winning ribbons?

Competition is good for kids, and it's key to a productive society. For schools to mandate which accomplishments students can share and how is beyond overzealous, and seems like on a complete encroachment on freedom of speech.

Do you think this policy limiting students' ability to proclaim their acceptance to college is outrageous?
Image via shiladsen/Flickr



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nonmember avatar Aryaa

I will never forget the excitement at THIRTY-SIX years old, reading my name on the door for acceptance into the accedemic course i had to interview for. I felt like a teen! I did celebrate. I put a whole lot of work, and tears into that acceptance. The fact that it was my second attempt made it that much sweeter. Going back to class thefollowing semester was difficult congratulating my classmates who were accepted and in turn informinng them i wasn't. But, it was something i really wanted and so, i clucked a chin up, told myself to try harder, prepare better. You know what? I celebrated like crazy! Even the ones who didnt get in were happy for me. it was a great accomplishment and i appreciate being able to openly celebate it.

nonmember avatar kaerae

Pretty sure the school has no legal right to control what students post on facebook, unless it's threatening or breaks existing laws.

Sandy Elwanger

This is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard of!

Carolyn Rice

I think it's ridiculous that a student can't show there happiness that they accomplished a great feat. It's also ridiculous that the teachers, who might have worked harder and longer with that child so they could make it, can't give positive feedback? isn't that what they want the teachers to do? Now they're told they can't. I would loose my job, because I would be congratulating them, even in public!

Chelsea Palmer

If I was that young again. Good luck in trying to keep me quiet. Especially on my facebook! I also would not let my school have access to my facebook! Ha!


skrawli skrawli

so we shouldnt keep score at games that our kids are in either. or celebrate their goal/basket/point.  . .oh wait~we already are not suppose to do that. LAME.

Some parent has a kid with hurt feelings and so "they took on the world" and fought a battle for all parents.  We should be saying Thank you.  Some parent needs to cut the umbilical cord and move on.  I bet they are still pouring their childs milk in the morning before school.  just sayin.

pammo... pammomof9

No wonder suicide is the 3rd largest killer of young people, we have made it all about their feelings and when "their feelings" get hurt they cannot cope. Life is never going to be on a level playing ground, someone is ALWAYS going to be smarter than you, work harder than you , get a break you just didn't get. But if your focus is on others and what you are doing for them that stuff doesn't matter, you are (hang on, this is radical) HAPPY for the success of others. If they acheived a goal you set for yourself and didnt accomplish you find out HOW to accomplish it by picking their brain. When the focus is not on yourself at all times you see the world more clearly, we are creating kids that do not have that ability.

Jackie Starr

Congratulations GREATDAYS to you & your daughter & best of luck to you both!! Post the news you deserve to do so for your bragging rights as her mom as she does for "making it to the top!!!"
Of course it's outrageous & I completely agree with the fact that those that didn't get what they wanted should be told you should've worked harder. Kids now don't think they have to WORK HARD to get what they want they expect it to be handed to them on a silver platter. Everyone should be able to "brag" about their acceptances & achievements they worked their butts off to get them!!

femal... femaleMIKE

This conflicts with freedom of speech. 

Alexs... Alexsmommy1996

I am truly taken back by this story...this is what is wrong with today's children! They are sooooo coddled and unable to handle situations that they will have to face in their near future. I would allow my child to post it, say it, and even buy them some clothing from the school. I would also have taught them over the years to be sensitive to others who may not be so fortunate...since when do schools take the place of the parents in raising our children?

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