Students Banned From Sharing News of College Acceptance (Seriously)

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graduation capsFor many high school students, the culmination of all of their years of hard work (or less than stellar effort) comes in the form of a letter from the colleges of their choice. A thin one sinks hearts, and a fat one has them shrieking to the world that they actually did it. Only if you're a student in New York, there's no shrieking allowed. In fact, students in some prep schools there are flat out banned from even announcing that they got into any college in person or via social media like Facebook. They're also not allowed to wear t-shirts or other gear on which their new school's name or logo is displayed.

Why? Because it might hurt the other students' feelings. I kid you not. The New York Post cites several examples of schools with such policies designed to minimize the pain for students who don't get into the college of their dreams.

I can't imagine a more ridiculous, over-the-top example of the coddling and kid gloves with which kids today are too often treated.

Sarah Tarrant, director of college counseling at Calhoun School, told the paper that students have weekly classes in which they learn “the appropriate way to share news of acceptance. “The weekly conversation reins in kids who might run around yelling, ‘I got in! I got in!’ ” she said.

It's even happening in public schools there.  Darby McHugh, college coordinator at Bronx HS of Science, told the paper:

It can be bad and it can get weird. We send a notice out to all faculty telling them, ‘Please don’t congratulate students in public, no high fives, no hugging, and please be sensitive so that if you see someone crying, you refer them to the college-adviser office immediately.

I'm truly floored and appalled. Students should go around shouting "I got in!" It's what they've worked so hard for all of these years, and they deserve some kudos. If someone else didn't, well, perhaps they should have studied more. Hard work should be rewarded, and no one should have to be afraid to tout their accomplishments out of fear over hurting someone's precious ego.
It's insulting to everyone involved, and it's no way to prepare students for the 'real' world in which they will be passed over for promotions, lose out on jobs, and not always get a bonus as big as their coworkers. That's life. Hopefully, they use those defeats to inspire them to work harder, and push themselves further. If not, then they have no one to blame but themselves. What's next, athletes not being able to announce their victories? Science fairs to ban the display of winning ribbons?

Competition is good for kids, and it's key to a productive society. For schools to mandate which accomplishments students can share and how is beyond overzealous, and seems like on a complete encroachment on freedom of speech.

Do you think this policy limiting students' ability to proclaim their acceptance to college is outrageous?
Image via shiladsen/Flickr



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Ksmomy Ksmomy

I think this policy is pathetic. These people are doing such a disservice to all kids involved. Disappointments are part of life and noone is teaching them to deal with them. Sad to see what society has come to.

Cassandra Huber

Bullcrap!!! Those kids who don't get accepted to their dream college can get over it!!!!! If you get accepted, shout it from the rooftops!!! Kids nowadays are so spoiled and sheltered it is all a line of bull! My son is only 3 months, and I refuse to allow him to be sheltered. He will be raised like I was, playing outside, reading REAL books, studying hard, climbing trees, being a normal kid who has their ups and downs and its part of life. How can I prepare him for the real world if I shelter him? Disappointment and rejection are part of life whether we like it or not.

Cheryl Spires-Baker Duerr

Part of the role of schools, all schools, is to prepare the child for life.  What part of this prepares them for anything except entitlement?  Really, classes to teach students how to "break" the news of college acceptance!  I think students would be better served with classes on 'why I didn't get in".  Educators, phycologists, and all of these "educated idiots' that take it upon themselves to dictate what they were taught to believe about raising children need to step back and see what they have wrought with their molly coddling, there are no losers, everybody wins teachings.  Look at the caliber of the kids from even 30 years ago and and look at them now.  Nuff said.


Joan Neville Buffa

SO sick of PC.  these kids worked hard and should be rewarded, not the snivelling brats with no college prospects.  Once out of high school they can still go to college.  I didn't go and of course I missed my friends who were lucky enough to go.  I couldn't afford it and I wasn't a very good student anyway.  My friends never abandoned me and I had a happy life.  I was happy for my friends.  geeze

Melan... Melanie420

they are banned from annoucing on facebook, its facebook whos going to stop them? they cant do anything about it, and it never would have hurt my feelings, your basically an adult by then, grow up, and I didnt want to go to college anyway so it wouldnt have mattered to me, just because someone is book smart and gets into a good college doesnt mean they actually have common sense or street smarts or even any logic, I knew some girl who got good grades, but shes a dumbass in the real world

Lisa Murdaugh

So grateful this yankee had enough sense to raise my kids in this good ole laid back south.

H Sheriff Cargill

That is ridiculous. Kids should be proud of accomplishments and should not have to downplay anything. Neither should teachers. Kids SHOULD have studied harder. American schools are NOT difficult to graduate from. Now, if a kid makes fun of another for not getting into the school they wanted, that's a different story.

nonmember avatar j budinski

I have 10 grandchildren,one was in the Army, one in college, another has been accepted and another will be headed to college in another year. The others are still in school or too young. I am extremely proud of the ones that are in/headed to college and they should shout their accomplishments from the rooftop - they WORKED HARD. They set a great example for the younger ones. If you want something bad enough in this life, you must work hard. Not being able to share the news is ridiculous and that is what is wrong with the world today.

Jo Ann Burnett Weiler

Greatdays, Congrats to your daughter! Tell her to shout it to the world! If you do the work and reap a bonus from it, shout it to the roof tops, you earned it!  Anything that takes the pride of an accomplishment away from any child is WRONG!  Competition in sports and academics is good for children if it is presented in a positive environment. My cousin's son won a full scholarship to Duke University, his parents could afford the tuition, he asked the scholarship board to please give it to someone who could not afford the tuition. Raising our children to NOT be part of the ME generation is quite an accomplishment!

Susan Sladden Comerford

When my oldest son was accepted to Stanford and the Univ. of Chicago, we were thrilled. My son had the manners at 17 to be gracious about it and didn't need to be told to be observant of others. He worked very hard to get into these schools and deserved to be there. He chose the U of C for his undergraduate years and for his MBA. My other son, despite my efforts, choose his social life over his academics and did not get into a good college. He had the ability with an exceptional IQ, but he made bad choices and he was not truly surprised about his college choices. He did not finish college and I believe all of this is the reason for that. I still hope he will return to school for himself and his children.

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