State Senate Declares Holding Hands Way Too Sexy for Kids

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holding handsAnother shot has been fired in the war on teaching our teenagers the truth about sex. The latest victim? Hand holding.

Yes, my friends, the great connector of two people in a crowd and safety mechanism for moms of toddlers everywhere is now officially a gateway to sexual activity! This one comes out of Tennessee, where State Senators have seen fit to actually pass a bill making this gem a piece of the sex ed curriculum. And they didn't stop there (of course they didn't).

The bill also makes a teacher going so far as to show what she (or he) means by "hand holding" a fire-able offense. In other words? If a kid asks, "So, Mr. Jones, when you say hand holding is one step away from knocking up my neighbor, what exactly do you mean?" a teacher can't actually lace their fingers together without worrying that they'll be told to pack their things and hit the road.

Gee, with a sex ed program like this, it's a shock that Tennessee ranks in the top 10 for number of pregnant teenagers, isn't it? No wonder the state's home to one of MTV's Teen Mom reality stars (Maci Bookout hails from the Chattanooga area).

Thank goodness they're making these batshit changes to really scare the heck out of kids. I just wonder if they've done enough. What will happen to a Mom who walks into a Tennessee high school with her hand firmly grasped around that of her teenager's youngest sibling? Shouldn't she be labeled a pedophile and banned from campus? After all, we can't allow such filth around our children!


Or maybe, just maybe, we could try acknowledging to our kids that signs of affection between two people are a natural part of life. That human connection is a building block of society. That yearning for some form of physical contact is not dirty at all.

Teenagers have it hard enough in this department. They're often feeling "too old" to seek the comfort derived from cuddling with their family members. But they're too young for the deep sexual relationships that help adults navigate a lonely world. Holding hands and hugging can be kids' best means for bridging the gap between the two.

I don't really enjoy thinking about my daughter one day having sex any more than the next parent. But I enjoy even less the thought of her sitting in a classroom being told that she should live a cold existence without the kindness of human touch lest the feel of a boy's palm makes her want to rip off her clothes and jump in the sack. What a sad society we're living in when we don't even want kids to enjoy the feel of basic human connection.

Where do you draw the line for what you consider normal emotional connection between kids and "gateway to sexual activity"?


Image via JonGenius/Flickr

sex, dating


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the4m... the4mutts

Bedroom door gets sneakily closed = time for the door to come off the hinges.

Anything you can't do with the door open, doesn't need to be done.

Truthfully, it starts with hand holding. Remember that OMG, OMG OMG!.!! Shreeeek! He's holding my hand! Feeling?

Buuuut... am I going to stop my teens from doing that? Uuh, no.

If they try to close their door, I don't care if they're only holding hands when I barge in, that door is GONE!

RanaA... RanaAurora

I was pissed when HUGGING was banned from some schools. Handholding? That's just ridiculous.

nonmember avatar Dani

This makes me sad to be a tennessean.

paren... parentalrights1

Anything can prelude sexual activity, but that doesn't mean that everything should be banned because it doesn't always mean it's a prelude to sexual activity. People don't need to hug or hold hands to want to have sex later. That's silly.

Like a pp said, yeah girls get excited when they hold their crushes hand, but girls get excited with any level of attention from the guy they like. They're just silly. It's not a bad thing for a child to get excited with attention from the boy/girl they like. You just have to worry about when they actually start dating and getting in relationships that they are educated enough on the sensations and feelings they will get and the possible consequences of acting on them.

nonmember avatar kaerae

Don't couples often enjoy a meal together before having sex? Perhaps we should ban lunch in school...

libby261 libby261

OMG, Teens NEED the practice of courting so when they are finally out of the house, they don't marry the first psyco that comes along!!  And.. just what is wrong with hand holding and making out?  I did plenty of that as a teen and still kept my virginity until college when I dated the same guy my entire 4 years.  


Todd Vrancic

@kaerae, don't give them ideas, they're already trying to do away with school lunches to save money!  Breathing is a prelude to sexual activity, these people are morons.

Destiny Hall Lewis

and yet you all are welcoming BIG GOV'T into our homes and lives with no issue... Hmmmmm?

Numom... Numom61507

Umm so what if you hold your kids hand while crossing the street? Are you declared a pedophile and have to register?

Nick 'n' Jorie Westerlund

WOW, when I was in high school we were yelled at for hand holding and oddly enough girls still got pregnant = / just saying that the only way to prevent underage sex is to bring back the chastity belt.. maybe add an electrical fence to it too. Stopping kids from holding hands is just going to make them want it more, lol! Can't wait to read the headline "Due to hand holding being banned... a kindergartener ran off from his/her group during line up at school". Have we really hit that low in society?!

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