Ah, parenting a teenager. It's so much fun, isn't it? Between the ever-present sarcasm and the utter inability to believe that their parents have anything worthwhile to say, being a parent of a teen can leave you feeling like you've been beaten to a bloody pulp.
While most of what comes out of the mouths of teens is bad enough, here are some of the worst things your teenager can tell you:
1) "No, not THAT nipple ring -- my eyebrow ring."
2) "I'll get [insert girlfriend's name] next to the four-leaf clover tattoo I got down in Mexico. I'm 16 -- love is FOREVER. Didn't you see Twilight, Mom?"
3) "What do you MEAN, I can't spray paint my bedroom black?"
4) "No, of course I don't smoke pot in my room -- that's what the tree house is for!"
5) "I'm ready to be on Teen Mom, now. Hollywood, here I come!"
6) "Of COURSE it was me who used your credit card to charge $1,000,000 to FarmVille! I needed to take care of my imaginary crops!"
7) "I'm going to be outta here soon. I just sent this Nigerian Prince, who is like, totally related to me, our bank account numbers so he can TOTALLY send me 1,000,000 pounds or something."
8) "Of COURSE I didn't take your car. I took the neighbor's car -- he sleeps late and never notices when we go joyriding."
9) "Well, we can always go on Jerry Springer!"
10) "Nope, I'm not going to college -- I'm off to LA to become a superstar. I mean, look at how well Lindsay Lohan did!"
What other words do you never want to hear coming from your teen's mouth?
Image via D. Sharon Pruitt/Flickr


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Comments 20
"No, of course I don't smoke pot in my room - that's what the tree house is for!"
"No! I didn't fucking sneak anyone in my window mom! You only don't remember saying Edson could spend the night because I waited to ask till you finished your 12pack!"
My exhusband used to spend the night constantly when I was in high school. Always with permission, which my mom never remembered giving.
Okay, are teenagers getting stupider? I mean, I did smoke pot in the treehouse when I was a teenager, and I did want to paint my room black until my mom told me it would make my room feel smaller. I figured she had a point. Other than that....I would have ridiculed the crap out of any of my peers if I'd heard them say things like this. Maybe I was just advanced? I dunno.
I would have thought "Mom, Dad, I'm pregnant. The father is that greasy, drug-dealing biker I brought home last week" would be near the top of the list. XD
It always amazes me how people have no sense of humor. Obviously this was written in jest. It's not meant to be a Pulitzer winning masterpiece. Have you never seen Letterman? Sheesh people, lighten up!
This was HILARIOUS! & I used to wait till my dad was drunk before asking if my now husband could spend the night or if i could stay at his house!
hilarious! love them
Lately......"mom I have no friends and I want to go online and create an Avatar and go into chat rooms and meet people"......." oh and I also want an XBox Live so I can go online and play Modern Warfare with strangers from around the world"........ummm hell no, my sweet 13 year old male socialite who is always on the phone and has more friends than I do....