Apparently the "Stand in a High Traffic Zone Wearing a Sign That Says What You Did Wrong" punishment is turning into a parenting trend. This week, it was 13-year-old Natia Wade's turn to be mortified in public: The Memphis teen was forced by her mother and aunt to stand in the middle of a busy intersection bearing a sign that read "I steal from my family."
(Good to know, I guess, but if the only people she steals from are her family members I'm not sure why the rest of us are supposed to be alarmed.)
Anyway, some parents think this disciplinary tactic is the best thing since sliced bread; others see it as a humiliating way to screw up your kid for life. As for me, I don't think I could ever do this to one of my kids. But I still think we're going to be seeing a lot more miserable-looking adolescents standing on street corners wearing Signs of Shame.
And I hope parents start getting creative with these things at some point. I mean, really. "I steal." "I lie." (I SNORE.) Especially since the concept can be so easily modified to suit each teen's personal pattern of misbehavior.
Just imagine the possibilities ...
Here are a few signs I fully expect to see hanging around a sulky juvenile deliquent's neck ...
"I stole a can of black spray paint and wrote 'Take the shoes off ya teeth N' stop runnin' yo mouth' on the door of the principal's office"
"I stole a tomato plant from my neighbor lady's yard cause I thought it was a pot plant"
"I bet my buddy I could finish a 6-pack of Bud before he could and I did and then I walked through the Taco Bell Drive-Thru and screamed 'RUN FOR THE BORDER, BITCHES!'"
"Me and my friend got some M-80s and blew up a dumpster outside Dunkin' Donuts cause dude, flying donuts are funny"
If there was a sign of shame hanging around your teen's neck, what would it say?
Image via Daniel Lobo/Flickr
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Comments 43
People who steal from their famiy have no problem stealing from others. I Agree with what this family did it made her relize how bad she messed up personally i would have had the cops involved if my children stole from me.
I get that you were going for the humor with those slogans, and I'm with you on that. There's no reason that punishment can't be creative. However....
These punishments aren't about you. Twice, you said that they didn't refer to, or amuse you. So what? The point was, the child was [hopefully] learning a lesson that will travel with him or her for the rest of her life. The next step for many of these kids could very well be jail. Which is preferable? Being a little uncomfortable, and suffering a little [safe] humiliation for a day on a streetcorner wearing a sign that details exactly what that child is at this moment in time? Or spending a year or better in jail where the humiliation is very real, and often involves unmentionable sexual acts?
I don't have kids who are the age where this punishment seems to be used, but I can't imagine using this tactic. I get that some kids just don't respond to the traditional punishments, but embarassment shouldn't be used. They should be made to apologize in person to those affected (whether a person, or a group of people) but why bring strangers into it. All they will learn is to be more sneaky so they don't get caught.
I would rather humiliate my kids like that and get the point across then they continue on the path they were heading down... I bet this gets through to them !!
p.s. my dd wouldn't need one, she knows better...
Yes, a little humiliation can go a long way, but, even sex offenders aren't subjected to this. So, I think there're other ways to deal with your prankin' teen. I'd bet, too, if these teens were interviewed they'd tell you they received money, sympathy, and most of all 'attention,' which defeats the purpose, don'tcha you think?
When kids don't respond to "traditional" punishments (I'm assuming you mean things like "time out" or grounding, here), when you've had them apologize to people like crazy and they give the "huh, sorry" accompanied by a derisive *snort*, when you've tried everything in your arsenal, and juvie/jail is a very real possibility... What do you suggest?
Humiliation/embarrassment is a human emotion. One that often acts as a catalyst for change. Why are we so afraid to use it? I'm not saying that it should be a weekly thing - that is abuse, and can be damaging. But haven't you ever done something and been embarrassed by it, and thought, "well, gee, I'm never doin' THAT again!!" The point of effective consequences/punishment is to teach a lesson, and sometimes, that lesson is "this is not a socially acceptable behavior, and you are going to feel uncomfortable until you learn it." And very often, kids have been made to apologize so much, and "sorry" is so watered down, that it is completely ineffective. They're not even made to say what they are apologizing for!! as in... "I'm sorry that I stole $20 from your purse." A simple, "huh, sorry" is often all that is required. And it is completely useless.
Our job as parents is to teach them, not constantly massage their self-esteem. Self-esteem and self-confidence come from within, not from a parent who is afraid to bring the hammer down when it is necessary to keep that child from self-destruction.
And Deb, maybe sex offenders SHOULD be subjected to this. It would probably be more effective than that stupid Registry.