I always thought schools were created to make parents' lives easier. They're there to educate our kids for cripe's sake. But I'm scratching my head this week at administrators at one Michigan high school, who suspended a 17-year-old cancer survivor for the "crime" of being too darn philanthropic.
OK, so technically JT Gaskins was punished for violating his school's policy over the length of boys' hair. But wait until you get a load of WHY he was growing out his long locks.
After surviving a bout with leukemia himself, Gaskins heard a sister of a pal had cancer. So he decided he'd grow out his hair in her honor and donate it to Locks of Love, a non-profit charity that fashions wigs for children who have suffered hair loss due to a medical condition -- usually cancer (although they also help kids with issues such as alopecia). As he told the Detroit News, he's spent his childhood fighting cancer, this is just another way he can keep up the good fight.
That's the kind of kid who makes my heart sing! So what kind of school administrator hears this kind of story and says, "Sorry dude, rules are rules, we're going to uphold your suspension"? The kind that's not big on raising kids to be "part of the solution."
And JT's story, sadly, is not a rarity. We get one of these hair/charity stories every few months. And then there are the girls punished last fall because their attempts to raise money for a breast cancer charity didn't fare well on their principal's prude-o-meter. Whatever happened to encouraging kids to make a difference?
Remember when you were in high school, and they'd gather us all in the gym or the cafeteria for another one of those rah, rah, let's be great, let's be grand, there's no I in team lectures? They were all about raising us to be leaders, to fix the world, to be the change we want to be in the world, and all that jazz.
Kids trying to do what they're encouraged to by their parents and teachers often find themselves kneecapped by school administrators who refuse to acknowledge that words don't mean as much as action. There's no use encouraging kids to try, if you're not going to support their efforts.
There IS room to make accommodations for kids who are doing something good for the world. In Gaskins' town, it could be as simple as a proposal (being made by students right now) that kids who want to grow their hair for a charity be allowed only if they sign a special promissory note that accepts they actually have to carry through with their plan to donate. I think other school administrators could find similar set-ups work in their community too, if they'd just be willing to try.
Has your child's school discouraged kids from actually getting involved in charitable work?
Image via Jean Pichot/Flickr
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Comments 21
Ok, here's the issue I have: It's a school policy. Ok? That means EVERYONE has to adhere to it. It's all fine and good that this kid wants to do something great for this charity, but the fact is that it's AGAINST the school's POLICY. They're not picking on him, they're enforcing the same rules for everyone. There are other ways he can give back.
When you start teaching kids that the rules apply to everyone - except them, because they have a good reason for breaking them - you're failing. If you think a rule needs to be changed, then go through the proper channels and change it - but don't defy it because YOU think YOUR reason is a good one for breaking the rules.
I equate this to a situation we had the other night. My son was needing to get his pajamas on, and he kept wanting to run upstairs in his underwear. I told him not to, and to get his pajamas on, and he promptly ran upstairs. I went up and got him, and he got disciplined for deliberately disobeying me. His response? He wanted to say goodnight to his Papa.
Was it a good reason to go upstairs? Sure. Should he have disobeyed me to do it? No. He could have asked me if he could go upstairs to say goodnight to Papa, and I would have allowed it - after he got his jammies on.
So, there's a way to change things without breaking the rules. That's my point here.
There IS a time and place for rule breaking. This may not be one of them, but we are not the ones to decide that.
My kids are not allowed in the street for any reason. Period. But my 8 yr old son threw a ball at a passing car, went in the street *not within the danger zone* and waved his arms till the car stopped. why? Because there was an abandoned kitten IN the danger zone.
I didn't punnish him. I reminded him of the rules, and told him that he did it in the right way, by not running in FRONT of the car.
Time and place for everything. We're raising productive members of society, not mindless robots that follow every rule without question
It's rediculous to me that with all the other issues going on in elementary/highschools that they choose to suspend over hair length! That beign said......
I think it's great the heart that this boy has to want to grow his hair for charity but the school has rules that all students should abide by, there are many other ways kids can use their time to help other sick children. It's a poor decision on the mother's part to allow her son to break the rules when suspension is involved.
Maybe the school should have a contest to see who can grow their hair the longest to donate to the charity!
My Dh and I both have very long hair.
I feel no one has the right to tell me or my kids how long we can grow hair. its my hair.
His hair was not hurtin his school work so wtf do they have a right to say how long it is allowed to be.
It would be the same to say girls can not wear any makeup in school.
I do not wear makeup but still i support a girls right to if they want to.
I'm terribly sorry. Apparently, I forgot to add an "unless there is an emergency" clause to my explanation. Part of being a productive member of society is understanding that there are rules and they need to be followed. Unless there is an emergency that warrants breaking the rules.
The fact that I believe kids need to follow the rules clearly means that I want them to be mindless robots who never think for themselves.
I think rules like that are stupid and maybe all the boys in the schools should grow their hair out in protest.
But I doubt that'll happen. It would be cool though.
There are about a million other ways to raise awareness and money for cancer. Why is enforcing the school's policy "discouraging him from getting involved in philanthropic work"? Why can't he get creative and come up with another way instead of growing his hair out? Which, if I'm going to be honest, is not that creative. I think it's wonderful that people do it, but come on, it's not like anyone is stifling his creativity. It takes little to no creative effort to grow a head of hair.