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As a parent, I don't want to raise my kids as complete cynics when it comes to romance. Life will shatter those rose-colored glasses soon enough, and entirely without my help. But that's just the thing: I do want them to be somewhat prepared for the possibility of heartbreak. It's not that I want them to feel like they can't trust their boyfriend or girlfriend ... I just don't want them to be too trusting.
Particularly when it comes to things like sharing highly personal information. The kind that could seriously derail a teen's life if it got into the wrong hands.
Which is why I'm extremely concerned about what's being called the latest teen dating trend ...
The sharing of online account passwords. A virtual "I'll show you mine if you show me yours," this supposed show of love and devotion makes the potential for damage done by post-breakup acts of revenge far too great.
Think back for a moment to your own love life as a teenager. Remember that one guy you dated who spray-painted a very, very inappropriate word on your locker when you called it quits? Okay, now imagine he has the Internet at his disposal. Not to mention your personal passwords to sites like Facebook, YouTube, Tumblr, and Twitter (I know we didn't have any of that stuff when we were teens, okay? That's why I said "imagine."). Plus your email account.
You see the capacity for disaster?? The possibilities are endless. A nasty teen ex could mess with your reputation, your friendships, your college applications ... shudder.
Of course, at this point in the parental dissertation on Internet privacy, I can picture the average teen rolling her eyes and saying something like, "Whatever, Mom. You don't know him, okay? He would never do something like that to me."
Oh, but sweetheart ... he just might. And so, even though they'll probably dismiss our warnings at first, I still think we have to at least try to convince our kids to keep their personal information personal. For their own protection.
Do you think teens should exchange online account passwords? Do you think anyone should?
Image via Zach Dischner/Flickr
Comments (10)
Kids information should be open ONLY TO PARENTS! However, married couples who do not share this sort of information with one another are just asking for it. My husband and I know all of each others' passwords and its very useful most of the time. Why would it be such a big deal to share them if there's nothing to hide?
When we were dating as teenagers, my husband and I shared each other's passwords ... we had nothing to hide, we still don't . We don't use any sort of social networking now, though .
I guess a nasty breakup between two immature people could be disasterous, but passwords can always be changed ...
You see all kinds of disgusting men on the internet laughing at the idea of posting ex girlfriends nude photos or sex tapes online. They think that just because she broke their heart by breaking up with them or because she cheated that it's okay to use all those personal things to hurt her.
And it doesn't matter how nice and loving he is during the relationship. They turn into completely different people and do things you'd never think possible. Same can go for girls.
And it can even happen if they are the one to break up with you. I didn't have anything really disastrous happen to me after a breakup but I had a 2 year relationship with a guy who was saintlike the entire time and even broke up with me and seemed to feel sad about it and assure me that it was because of him and not me, only to to torture me for months afterward. He turned into some sadistic bastard.
If any of you teens are reading this and rolling your eyes thinking that noone knows your relationship and boyfriend like you do, I know nothing is going to change your mind but at least be smart enough to listen and not share anything like that because you WILL see that you were the one that didn't know anything.
so change your damn pasword the day before you break up with him...
There is always the option to change your password, it's not like they are forever. Heck I change my passwords every 3 months, and I have quite a bit. I also have had the wrath of an ex sharing pictures/movies of me to people when I refused to talk with him, however I explained the situation to my friends/family/etc and they supported me 100% and realised that I had made a bad choice and learned from it.
My husband and I have been married 10 years and we don't have each others passwords. But I have no reason not to trust him and if I did then I wouldn't be with him. I hope I am teaching my daughters the same thing. It's ok to keep somethings to yourself, secrets, passwords, stories they don't all have to be shared.
Even if the ex didn't have the other's passwords. Which what the eff what part of private do people miss? They can still be trashing each other (lets not kid ourselves it happens both ways) all over each other's walls until someone wises up and decides to say screw it and block the drama...