It seems like only yesterday that I was a surly teenager. Ah, the glory days. Too many hormones, so many exciting things to learn and do, and, as always, so many feelings to be hurt. Especially my parents.
I didn't understand it at the time -- mostly because I wasn't a parent (thankfully), but I now know that special breed of hurt that comes with parenting a teenager.
Rather than weep and gnash our teeth, I think it's time to get a little humor out of it all.
Here are 10 reasons your teenager hates you.
- You breathe. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. You have the gall to sit there, breathing, in and out, day after ever loving day, like a slob.
- You make that noise when you chew -- the one that's all "slurp, crunch, slurp." How could they possibly be expected to respect you when you sound like a freaking cow when you eat lunch?
- Whenever you take a drink, it sounds like the upstairs toilet is flushing.
- You have the nerve to ask about school. If you knew ANYTHING, you wouldn't ask. Beth's mom doesn't ask her how her day was!
- You want your kid home for dinner. What's lamer than sitting around the table with your little brothers and your parents? NOTHING.
- You try to get hip to the lingo, but you get it all freakin' wrong. It's not "OMG" anymore, Mom, GET WITH THE PROGRAM.
- You have the audacity to hum. You know what's more annoying than an off-key rendition of "Deck the Halls?" NOTHING. Except maybe Family Dinner.
- You have the audacity to hum songs YOUR KID KNOWS. Aren't you supposed to listen to, like Barry Manilow and Old People stuff?
- You have a blog. Because OMGWTFBBQ we all know that Twitter is way cooler.
- You have a Twitter account. BACK OFF THE COOL STUFF, MOM -- nobody wants to know that you "really like waffles!"
What else can YOU add? What other reasons do teenagers have for hating us?
Image via Sean MacEntee/Flickr