10 Reasons Your Teen Hates You

on December 28, 2011 at 10:30 AM

It seems like only yesterday that I was a surly teenager. Ah, the glory days. Too many hormones, so many exciting things to learn and do, and, as always, so many feelings to be hurt. Especially my parents.

I didn't understand it at the time -- mostly because I wasn't a parent (thankfully), but I now know that special breed of hurt that comes with parenting a teenager.

Rather than weep and gnash our teeth, I think it's time to get a little humor out of it all.

Here are 10 reasons your teenager hates you.

You breathe. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. You have the gall to sit there, breathing, in and out, day after ever loving day, like a slob.
You make that noise when you chew -- the one that's all "slurp, crunch, slurp." How could they possibly be expected to respect you when you sound like a freaking cow when you eat lunch?
Whenever you take a drink, it sounds like the upstairs toilet is flushing.
You have the nerve to ask about school. If you knew ANYTHING, you wouldn't ask. Beth's mom doesn't ask her how her day was!
You want your kid home for dinner. What's lamer than sitting around the table with your little brothers and your parents? NOTHING.
You try to get hip to the lingo, but you get it all freakin' wrong. It's not "OMG" anymore, Mom, GET WITH THE PROGRAM.
You have the audacity to hum. You know what's more annoying than an off-key rendition of "Deck the Halls?" NOTHING. Except maybe Family Dinner.
You have the audacity to hum songs YOUR KID KNOWS. Aren't you supposed to listen to, like Barry Manilow and Old People stuff?
You have a blog. Because OMGWTFBBQ we all know that Twitter is way cooler.
You have a Twitter account. BACK OFF THE COOL STUFF, MOM -- nobody wants to know that you "really like waffles!"

What else can YOU add? What other reasons do teenagers have for hating us?

Image via Sean MacEntee/Flickr

Filed Under: independence

Comments (11)

lehoffman

on Dec 28, 2011 at 10:54 AM

I really hate the whole teenagers have to be snotty and rude and hate their family idea. I was NEVER disrespectful and rude to my mom. We were and still are best friends. I think that by perpetuating these ideas, it normailizes them and parents put up with kids who think they can have no manners.

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Nonmember comment from Skittle pies

on Dec 28, 2011 at 11:01 AM

I agree with lehoffman. This article is reinforcing a negative stereotype about teens. We are not all horrible little brats who hate you. Sure, they are a handful of those kids at every high school but to think all teens are like that is kind of hurtful. This article makes teens think that to be cool you have to hate your family. If your teen behaves like this, then you should have raised them better.

EquestrianMom

on Dec 28, 2011 at 11:19 AM

Yeah, if my son displays his thoughts on any of this, he will be in trouble! We all understand that teens are going through a stage while finding themselves that hardly anyone older then them is cool or gets it. But no rudeness allowed! LOL!

Nonmember comment from teenager

on Dec 28, 2011 at 11:25 AM

Reason number 11: You make blog posts about how terrible we are and how much we hate you, lumping us into one whining, complaining mass of evil, texting creatures.

RhondaVeggie

on Dec 28, 2011 at 11:32 AM

It also causes some parents to assume that their kids are horrible teens when they're not. When I was growing up my mother was convinced that all teens lied to their parents among other myths. I was accused of lying about the most ridiculous stuff. She once freaked out at me for using her loofah. I didn't, she left it sitting on the edge of the bathtub and it got splashed while I was showering, but she was convinced that my true and perfectly reasonable explanation must be a lie because everything that came out of my mouth must be a lie. Similar things happened almost every day of my teenage years.

Aurastar

on Dec 28, 2011 at 12:15 PM

I may hate most other teenagers, but seriously?

Crankywitch

on Dec 28, 2011 at 12:26 PM

This too shall pass, and we'll have our loving and wonderful children back in a few years.

rayella009

on Dec 28, 2011 at 12:28 PM

wow. i totally took this as sarcasm and i loved it!

Procrastamom

on Dec 28, 2011 at 2:48 PM

On Boxing Day, my fifteen year-old came downstairs in a rage at 10:30 a.m., because we were playing our "lame 80's music" too loud. I asked her why she didn't complain about the Foster The People album we were playing a half-hour earlier at the same volume. Because, apparently they're cool and one can sleep through the cool stuff.

kdaiuto

on Dec 28, 2011 at 3:28 PM

LOL I love this too. I guess I was a sucky teenager, because I DID act like this (not all of the time, of course, but even in small doses, it's horrible!), and thank God, my parents and I can look back on it now and laugh. I don't look forward to my own daughters' teenage years one bit!!