5 Handy Ways to Scare Your Teenage Daughter Straight

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Ever since I popped out my kids, I've been waiting for the day to terrify them. It's not out of hatred or anything -- I love my kids dearly -- but out of love. Also: I may be getting back at them for the stretch marks, the years I spent wiping butts, and the loose skin.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Teens are notoriously hard to punish for bad behavior, so I've compiled a list of ways in which you can terrify -- think scared straight -- your teenage daughter.

Take away her cellphone. Why? Her cellphone is her lifeline to the world she cares about (which is not, incidentally, the world we all live in). How else will she know exactly what Jimmy thought about her outfit today or what Lisa is planning to do to the new girl? She NEEDS that phone and she needs it now.

Become her friend on Facebook. Once you're inside the lair, begin to post old baby pictures and tag her in them. There's nothing a teenager hates more than seeing herself drinking out of a hose at age 3, or dressed as a pirate at age 5. Trust me -- she'll hate it. You can increase this horror by writing on her Facebook wall -- sweet parental love messages and stuff.

As a punishment for hanging out too late with her boyfriend, tell her she has to go to school without makeup for a week. Whether or not you actually do it is besides the point. It's a lesson in being scared straight. Which, we all know, teens need.

Accidentally put your underwear in her room when you're doing laundry. Why? She'll be so terrified of the Ghost of Underwear Future that she'll probably want to bake you a cake. Or tell you to go on a diet ... really, same difference when it comes to teens.

Hang a picture of Edward, from Twilight, in your own bedroom. Perhaps create a shrine underneath it. It will horrify your daughter so much that you'd have the audacity to love such a beloved person as Edward that she'll probably do anything -- anything -- to get you to remove it.

So what other ideas do you have to terrify your teenage daughter?

 

behavior, family, issues

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MadMe... MadMerlotMama

LMFAO...love it! My parents took away my cell phone a few times in high school. THE HORROR.


Once, when I was caught wearing a highly inappropriate outfit to school, my Mom said she'd take me shopping. Uh, aren't I in trouble? Whatevs. Bring on the Mall!


 


Yeah....She bought me overalls, turtlenecks, and hiking boots. And that it what I had to wear for 2 weeks. Her reasoning was, "Try looking like a ho in this." In the off chance my daughter decides to go to school in a skirt that shows her ass and a spaghetti-strap tank top, I will use this same trick.

Ms.Pu... Ms.PuNkrOckStar

Text her close friends xD Like in Good Luck Charlie xD

nonmember avatar hollipop

When my kiddies get to school, if I ever hear of missing class, I will only have to assume that my child got lost on her way to class. Being the good mom that I am, I will spend the day escorting her to and sitting in all of her classes with her...wearing a robe, slippers, curlers, sweats...Im thinking I will only have to do this one time :D

When the kiddies get to high school and are talking and thinking about the birds&bees, SO and I will be printing out BiG full-color pictures of STDs to show them. And possibly taping them to the bathroom door. Some of those images are pretty darn scary.

nonmember avatar hannah

This is psychotic.

ltf124 ltf124

be a friend on facebook and post embarrassing baby pics of her

Justa... Justamom283

"Ghost of Underwear Future" love it!

Carol... Caroline2010

lol! we had a teenage foster daughter and we did end up taking away her make up for a week and we took away her cell phone a few times too! she hated us!

punkr... punkrockpink

I am friends with my teens on facebook because they added me. I also have an Edward shrine of sorts *blushes*. I've never had a need to scare my girls straight. They just follow the rules.

DebaLa DebaLa

I'm a FB spy, and for any discipline, she just hands me the phone, 'cause she knows what's comin'... but we have such a good relationship, that her volunteering her "punishment" kinda defeats the purpose.


The main thing is to follow thru on the *threats* just like when they were toddlers; otherwise, we're dismissed more than we already are during their super power years as the *all-knowing* people in the house.

nonmember avatar Swifty18

my mom has done all but post a picture of edward in her room. honestly, these things don't scare me. nice try.

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