I don’t have a heap of regrets in my life, but there are about 14 that stand out in my mind, and I pay for those bad boys every month. They’re student loans and they suck. Whenever I think I’m gonna have a buck or two to myself, here comes that trollop Sallie Mae to sop up any scraps I might have to buy shoes or partake of Red Lobster’s endless shrimp promotion. How I hate her.
Some of that debt is from undergrad, some is from grad school, but the rest is from Teen Girl’s private school education. I don’t regret sending her to a tuition-charging outfit, but it doesn’t look like they’ll be paid off in the five years she has before she strikes off to college. And that there is gonna be a whole heap of other charges and bills. So it got me to thinking: if a parent’s only option to pay for higher ed is to go the borrowed money route, who should shoulder the debt: Mom and Dad or the student?
I’m the first person in my family to going to college, so my mama had zero insight into the mystifying world of post-secondary financial aid. Everything we learned was through a fire baptism right there in the administrative offices on Lincoln University’s campus. (Shout out to LU!) Now that I’m navigating thousands of dollars in repayments for my own education, this is one thing I walked away knowing for sure, besides lots and lots about Shakespeare and grammar from an English degree that I, thank God, get to put to use: I refuse to saddle my daughter with student loans.
I mean, for one, it’s not like the child ever had a choice about going to college. I’ve been drilling it into her since she was barely old enough to talk that she was going to go. It’s been an expectation for as long as we both can remember, so it hardly seems fair to make her pay for something I planned for her to do her whole life.
Secondly, and most importantly, I learned firsthand that it is hard — hard — to be fresh out of school, looking for your first real-world job, trying to establish your life and enjoy your showroom new adulthood, and have to shell out $200, $300, $400 a month to pay back loans for an education that you may or may not be putting to good use. It’s a shock to your system to graduate and have to start paying bills. It’s almost cause for a monthly heart attack when you see what you racked up in student loans.
When Teen Girl walks across that stage and turns her tassel to the side, I want her to start with a clean slate. No Sallie Mae or federal loan witch hunters barking down her neck or astronomical balances to worry about shelling out. My mother didn’t know any better, and now, almost 10 years after I came out of school, she feels guilty about the monthly burden I bear. It wasn’t anybody’s fault; as much as I hate this saying, it is what it is. But now that we know, I don’t want my child to go through the same thing. And, in the event that she doesn’t land the string of full scholarships that I’m hoping for, I’ll sign on her behalf and take those dreaded, damned, what-did-I-even-learn-that-was-worth-this-much-money? student loans on for her.
Now, when she gets to grad school, that’s a whole other story. Homegirl’s on her own then. But for undergrad, I don’t want her to start out with a deficit before she even has a chance to live.
Will you take out loans for your kids’ education or is it their responsibility to pay after college?
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Comments 46
It amazes me that the most obvious answer is staring people in the face and nobody is acknowledging it. How old are our kids? On average, I would guess that the children of people on this blog range from birth to middle school age. Even if they're in eighth grade, there is still time to start putting money away. And to "drill into their heads" that they are expected to pay at least part of their tuition. That means getting a part-time job after school and/or during the summers, and not spending every penny of those paychecks on $200 jeans. It means getting a $20 pair of jeans and sticking at least $100 into a savings account (or a 529, if your state offers one; I believe they are available in all 50 now) that will go toward the cost of college. It means taking studies seriously, learning to write (not "rite") properly, learning the difference between they're, there, and their, and not sleeping through science and history. It means starting research NOW on what scholarships are available, and preparing for them.
It's not like college tuition is a surprise expense. In some cases, parents have almost 20 years to prepare. I know funds are tight, but how hard would it be to stick $50 into the bank every month? For some, it's that hard. But for most, that $50 means skipping the Starbucks and making the latte at home.
And I'm sorry, but I really have no sympathy for those who are now whining about having to pay back Sallie Mae. She loaned you the money for six years of college. You promised to pay her back. Suck it up. Because all of us that you're whining to? WE'RE Sallie Mae!
The caliber of schools I want my children to end up at is expensive, so we will probably end up helping them pay for that. We are already saving, but when you're talking about potentially hundreds of thousands of dollars by the time my 2 young children are college age it's a little overwhelming. I think that many of us who aren't currently involved in looking at higher education ignore the fact that while costs have skyrocketed, the amount of scholarships and other sources of aid have dwindled. This makes it more difficult for our children in some circumstances.
My parents paid for my books during my undergraduate degree, but the loans are all mine. I did, however, receive a fairly large amount of both need-based and merit scholarships. I paid for everything associated with my graduate degree.
My kids are in 11th grade and 6th grade and my husband and I have been saving for their college education since they were born. We both grew up lower class and college wasn't even an option for us so we knew we wanted to give our kids an advantage that we didn't have. Both of my kids know they will start at a community college first to get their general studies done then they will move on to a 4 yr college to finish. Both of my kids also know that they will be expected to have part time jobs to help with other misc. expenses. I know it's hard to plan for such an expense but we take money from each paycheck before we pays other bills to go toward their college funds because it's that important to us.
Yea, loans aren't the only option. If you've been drilling into her about college since she was small, you should also have been saving since she was small.... so make sure she picks a college within her means and anything extra, she will have to work and pay for herself.
I was the first to go to college and had to pay everything myself (due to my parents' bad credit and minimum wage-paying jobs, it was all on me!) I have no issue with it, although it would have been nice to have some help beyond the scholarships and grant I got.
I feel like my daughter should fork over some money to pay her own tuition (because it would NOT be fair if I had to pay mine AND hers! :) Especially since I'll be paying mine off until 2 years before she's due to go to college) but I also don't want her to struggle for the first 10 post-college years of her life like I did. In short, if YOU have demanded that your child will go to college, be prepared to at least HELP pay her way. IOr, if you have the financial means to help your child, you should. Any tuition pre-college - your problem. But if my daughter went to a state or community college that was affordable for her to pay her own way, then yep, she can handle it.
I honestly don't think anyone is doing thier child any favours by paying the full ride. No-one wants to take financial responsibility for themselves.
" It’s a shock to your system to graduate and have to start paying bills."
This comment really bothers me. What have you been teaching your children if this is a shock to the system????? What good is 4 years of university going to do if they dont have these basic life skills?
Alot of kids/ adults are spoiled now and take no responsibility. Things are more appreciated and respected if you have to work for them.
Also if you are going into something that is going to leave you paying loans for the next 10 years I would hope it would be something that you could actually make good money at and good job prospects.
if the kid is over 18 I say the kid should pay for thier education.. and if the paretns offer to help out good but the kid shouldn't expect it. somepeople can't afford to put thier kid in college.. thats what finacail aid is for.. my cousins college wanted her paretns fincail info although she didn't even live with them I think that is crazy. .