Magazine Gives Teen Girls Worst Dating Advice Ever

on August 3, 2011 at 10:45 PM

teen couple So I guess we're not sugarcoating the whole love and romance thing for teen girls these days. Seventeen magazine actually has a column called "LIES He Tells Straight to Your Face," which is exactly what it sounds like: A monthly roundup of confessions from "real" teen guys about the sleazy fibs they tell young ladies to get in their pants.

Hmmm. If you're like me, your first reaction to this news was probably to snort with bitter laughter and think something along the lines of, "Well, they might as well find out sooner rather than later!"

Or maybe you're a little less battle-weary pessimistic than I am, in which case your immediate response was probably something closer to, "This is some pretty messed up stuff to throw at kids who probably haven't even had their first date yet!"

Well, I hate to say this (I really do), but I was wrong, and you were right.

"LIES He Tells Straight to Your Face" is indeed some pretty messed up stuff to throw at girls who probably haven't even been lied to yet.

Sure, some dude will probably lie to them at some point, and there's something to be said for getting a little advance warning about this kind of thing. But propagating gender cliches like "all men are liars" isn't going to prepare girls for the dating scene. On the contrary, this form of subtle brainwashing is more likely to make girls accept crappy treatment from guys because, well, boys will be boys and that's just what they do, isn't it?

The message being sent here is about as progressive as "Keep your man happy -- always remember to wear pearls when cooking his favorite meal!" Honest communication between the sexes is hopeless, this column tells girls, so don't even bother.

I have to believe that a better approach would be to elevate our girls' standards and insist boys rise to the challenge, instead of passing on our own low expectations and giving yet another generation of guys permission to coast.

Do you think teen girls should be taught to expect the worst from guys?

Image via Benjamin Thomas/Flickr

About the author Jacqueline Burt

has written for numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites. She is easily bored and often tired, so she requires constant entertainment to keep her awake. Dance, Monkey! Dance!

Filed Under: dating

Comments (17)

meatball77

on Aug 3, 2011 at 11:28 PM

Or perhaps it tells girls that they need to figure out if a guy is sincere. And it never hurts to know that sometimes a guy will say anything to get into your pants.

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Nonmember comment from Anon

on Aug 3, 2011 at 11:41 PM

I don't read Seventeen magazine, but I never understood why people think it's appropriate for young teens and tweens to be reading material that is almost completely focused on sex, and supportive of indiscriminate sex by the target audience. On the other hand, of course it is appropriate to warn girls that boys/men who are after sex with a teen are selfishly putting their wants over any consideration for her. A boy/man who cares for a girl will want to see her have only healthy relationships that lead to a healthy and happy adult life. That means waiting to have sex until SHE is old enough and ready to decide (without pressure) to have sex. Anyone who pushes a teen to have sex does not have her best interests at heart, period. So why should she give him the time of day, let alone sex? I had that discussion with my kid sister when she was 10. Today she's married with kids, and certainly not regretting the choice to not sleep around as a teen.

Melissa042807

on Aug 3, 2011 at 11:45 PM

Seventeen magazine gives girls crappy dating advice all around. Even as a teenager I laughed at it.

GlowWorm889

on Aug 4, 2011 at 2:08 AM

Pretty much everything aimed at teen girls do this. One epitimous example is the Twilight series. Edward is controlling, abusive, and threatening; it would make any self-respecting girl run the opposite direction. But no, it's okay--he does it because "he loves her". How many domestic abusers give that line? Jacob is no better, he takes it up to physically abusive. And teen girls LOVE this book/movie series. Another horrible thing these magazines do is turn everything into boyfriend-hunting. Preening, attracting, acting coy to attract boys. Of course, not only does this alienate lesbian teens, but it's completely wrong. Teenagehood should be about discovering who YOU are and what you want from life, and your sole existence at any age should not be to find a boyfriend. -.-

1bluemonkey

on Aug 4, 2011 at 7:47 AM

Once those hormones kick in, though, the kids EXIST to try to attract each other. It is unfortunate that they have such strong feelings and yet do not yet have the cognitive structures in place to make sound rational decisions for themselves, and it is sad that every form of media plays on that dichotomy of adult feelings with childish brains to sell whatever trash they are cooking up.

Anastazia975

on Aug 4, 2011 at 7:54 AM

GlowWorm, I could hug you right now!! I have been saying the same thing about Twilight for the longest!! That series and the way it is drives me bat shit! Lol. And I pretty much agree with everything you wrote, so , Kudo's!

CyraEm

on Aug 4, 2011 at 9:20 AM

It's also not good for the guys. If every girl is taught to be suspicious without provocation then we get a lot more instances of, "Look, I know you're cheating on me! Why can't you just loooooove me! I hate you! *breaks shit*" A lack of trust hurts all sides. That whole "crazy chick" stereotype came from somewhere, and it's girls who are so insecure they think their guy is constantly lying to them and cheating on them. Articles like this feed that sense of insecurity.

bookworm326

on Aug 4, 2011 at 10:42 AM

Seventeen is the teen equivalent of cosmo. Dating advice written by monkeys tied to typewriters. Part of being a teenager is gauging one's bs monitor to be able to tell when a guy is lying. Sadly that means dating some skeezy guys and making some mistakes. Feeding insecurities doesn't help it just propagates their self doubt and makes it ok he's a jerk because "yeah he's lying about being with other girls but he really loves me"