It takes a certain kind of person to wear a pair of high heels. Confident. Sure-footed. Open to bunions and a sore plantar region. So if you have all that going for you, do you really need a school principal to step in and "protect" you?
That's what the administrator at a Florida high school said he was trying to do when he brought a teenage boy into his office and told him to trash the toe-squishing shoes. Said Principal Bob Heilmann:
As a principal of a high school, I have to take the paternal side as well, I have to make sure he’s going to be okay ... Anytime anyone goes out from, quote, ‘the norm,’ or anytime anyone wants to make a statement, you have to be willing to take what comes with it.
Sounds a bit like the pot calling the kettle black, doesn't it?
The teenager hasn't been identified by news reports, but friends who spoke with the Tampa area TV stations claimed he WAS comfortable with his statement -- as comfy as you can be in a pair of shoes that make your arches scream anyway. In fact, they said he was perfectly fine until he was called out by a teacher who claimed he was creating a disturbance ... then sent to Heilmann's office. Where, of course, the principal projected his own securities about boys in heels on the teenager.
In a world where a 5-year-old boy wearing pink nail polish actually scares people, Heilmann's response isn't terribly surprising. But that doesn't mean it's any less disturbing. Educators are supposed to be trained on dealing with kids. In particular, a high school administrator should be able to separate his own bias from that of his students. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, for all we talk about kids being "cruel," each generation is typically more open-minded than the previous one. And kids generally don't have negative connotations about "differences" until they're placed in their head by adults. Driving home how badly Heilmann overreacted is the fact that in this case, students at the Tampa school were actually in the boy's corner, some even staging a mini protest for the way he was treated.
Here's hoping that this is a lesson for school administrators: be aware of bullying issues, but don't let them run your school. The more kids are encouraged to be themselves, the more acceptable it becomes to be different.
Would you let your child do something like this, or would you be afraid of the bullies?
Image via Denis Todorut/Flickr
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Comments (31)
You know, I'm kind of on the fence on this one. On one hand, the principal has an absolute point: if you are going to dress "outside the norm," whether that means having a multicolored mohawk, being a girl who "dresses like a guy" or a guy wearing heels... you have to be prepared to defend your choice. There are always going to be rude people in the world - they're not necessarily bullies, they're just jerks - and those people are going to say something. And you have to be prepared to deal with it, either by "taking it"/ignoring it, by turning it into a joke, or by offering a smart-ass retort in kind. It's all part of learning to be yourself in a world that expects absolute conformity. Defending your individuality is something that all of us must experience at some point in our lives. And though it can be a painful process, it is also a growing process.
So if this principal saw that this young man was willing to wear his heels, but not defend his choice of clothing, I can understand why he would tell him to take them off.
On the other hand, if this young man was being bullied - and I mean honest-to-goodness bullying, involving ongoing verbal abuse or physical contact, not just a few offhand comments thrown out here and there - and the principal told the kid to take them off, THEN I would say he was wrong.
(and I'm assuming that it's within the school's stated dress code for the boy to be wearing these shoes. If it isn't, then I change my entire perspective)
Er...I don't know. I just don't think it's normal for a man to wear high heels. I agree with the principal.
I don't think that high heels are considered "the norm" for boys to wear. I think the principal was right. My son wore a "Get your girl off my deck" t-shirt to school one day and his English teacher called me and told me that she thought it was inappropriate and made him turn it inside out. That slogan is from a skateboard company called "Girl". That was petty but I respected her judgement and told him to just not wear it in her class anymore. Jeez, people make such a big deal out of nothing. Kids are in school to learn not to be social activist.
I don't think I'd let my daughter wear heels to high school, but if either child did and was told to take them off, even though the dress code allowed them, I would seriously fight back HARD. Go to the press even. He had no right.
Zandhmom, petty? Come on already. The implications of what it means - who gives a crap if it's a skateboard company - are pretty clear and outside the boundaries of what's appropriate. The teacher was totally within her rights, inside HER classroom, and if it made her feel uncomfortable, then so be it. At least you respected her judgment, though - most parents would be beating down the school's door by then.
Why not have uniforms? that would take care of all this dress code drama...
butterflymkm: A Muslim girl in Hijab is not the same. That is purely religious reasons. So your comparison makes no sense. Please go educate yourself. Ty!!