Bullying Suspected in Tragic Double Suicide at Slumber Party

on April 21, 2011 at 12:27 PM

Paige Moravetz and Haylee Fentress In a rural Minnesota town this past weekend, two 14-year-old girls had a sleepover. Paige Moravetz headed to the home of her friend Haylee Fentress Friday evening for what appeared to be the same kind of teen girl fun had at slumber parties across the country. Only this one was horrifically different.

When Halyee's mom went to wake the girls Saturday morning, she found them both dead ... with suicide notes nearby. It appears the girls hanged themselves in a tragic suicide pact.

I can't imagine the grief and horror of that mother upon entering her daughter's room and finding them there as she tried but failed to resuscitate them. I don't want to even think about how Paige's parents reacted when they got the call in Hawaii where they were vacationing. I can't imagine what could drive two beautiful young girls to take their lives like this.

As their families and communities reel, they're trying to put together the pieces as to why, and if there were signs of what was to come. Some believe the girls may have been victims of bullying. According to MSNBC, Haylee was recently expelled from school for a fight she got into in which she was defending Paige from other students' harassment.

On Facebook, Haylee -- who had moved to the community about a year ago and quickly formed a deep friendship with Paige -- wrote to an aunt: “I'm soo done with people here there soo two faced and mean to me its not even funny."

Haley's mother, Tracy Morrison, is adamant that her daughter's suicide is a result of bullying. In a statement, she and Haylee's sister wrote:

We need to stop pretending this isn’t happening or that is just a cry for attention because obviously it is not. This needs to be talked about and we need to try to prevent this by teaching kids in school, community and at home. They need to know they are not alone. It shouldn't take more tragedies to realize this.

This breaks my heart and terrifies me as a parent. While the challenges of raising a toddler and a first grader right now seem overwhelming at times, I know that the emotional and social issues in our future are going to make all this pale in comparison.

To think of them being treated so badly by their peers that it makes them want to end their own lives makes me want to never let them interact with another single child. I know that's not the answer, but I also don't know what is.

Something has got to change in schools, in homes, in society. We can't continue to sit back and watch cases of bullying and its tragic results that continue to pepper our headlines. Life should not be this hard for our children.

Best wishes to the families of these girls as they attempt to cope with this tragic loss.

What steps do you think need to be taken to prevent bullying in our schools?

Image via YouTube

About the author Julie Ryan Evans

can be found writing from coffee houses wherever she may be. The quality of her days is largely influenced by the seat she nabs and whether a protein plate is available.

Filed Under: bullies, family, tough topics, news

Comments (32)

Facebook comment from Heather Murphy-Raines

on Apr 21, 2011 at 12:48 PM

Having a teenage and 2 preteens, this is so very nightmarish. We just had a 12 year old hang herself at the local park.

So often schools want the helicopter parents to back up and let the kids take the reins. Not going to happen. At this age, we need to get even more involved.

I found out my very tall, athletic son was being bullied and I made sure the school took care of it. Luckily, they have zero tolerance and they mean it. However, I had to probe to find out what was happening in the first place because my son would never have told me otherwise. I then had to go against his wishes and get him to get the school involved.

If I was not paying attention to see the signs or if my son was one of the smaller, easier to pick off kids, I can't imagine what would have happened.

I just wonder where the heck are the parents of these bullies. How do they not know what their kids are doing??

Another girl in our community had her Facebook hacked by two other girls. Luckily the Seattle police are taking it very seriously and they may be charged with felony harassment. It seems harsh, but then when you see the result? Better to nip it in the bud that find two girls dead in their bedroom.

~Heather/Scout

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VeronicaTex

on Apr 21, 2011 at 12:56 PM

This is indeed tragic...

I believe the school should take on the responsibility in the form of assemblies and special workshops dealing not only with bullying, but also promoting a sense of self-esteem in our young people: that every person counts..

I also firmly believe that parents, by school notes or better yet, mail (the old-fashioned kind ) should be alerted to this going on and be on the lookout for it in their children's lives, in addition to developing relationships with their children, showing them in more ways than one that they are valued...

Finally, Facebook and MySpace have both gotten way out of hand: First-The usage of it to bully is outrageous. Secondly, the use of it to MALICIOUSLY vent to a public about some feelings that should be kept private between two people is so irresponsible.

I don't have any possible solutions for social media...It is a problem that is only getting worse. Teens and older people even, are not learning any lessons there...Sad, but true.

Nonmember comment from Anon

on Apr 21, 2011 at 12:59 PM

What worked for me was to keep focused on the future. That way I didn't care so much about what my classmates thought of me. Of course, all kids are different, but I think the first approach needs to be focused on helping kids to be less vulnerable to bullying. I agree that when severe bullying takes place, the perpetrators need to be stopped. But nowadays the trend is toward defining every slight as "bullying" and acting like our kids are too delicate to take any of it. Our kids are not born delicate; we train them up that way. (Of course, mental illness is an exception. Girls with heavy periods, etc., are at risk for depression and such, so that needs to be looked at too.)

Shanin22

on Apr 21, 2011 at 1:15 PM

I think social media is just an outlet for an existing deeper problem. There is no easy answer for this. These teens are being pushed into a corner from which they feel there is no other way out. Why don't they feel able to tell their parents or teachers? Do they not feel they'll really be listened to or helped by doing so? Did they say something and nothing was done? How can we give these teens another option or make existing options like telling a teacher really work to solve (and not escalate) the situation?

This absolutely breaks my heart. I was relentlessly bullied during my freshman year of highschool. When it was brought to teachers and administration, I was just told I should leave the school if I couldn't make friends with the bullies. I know what it's like to feel that theres no way out of the situation... no one who could help or protect me. But I also know that life moves on and things can get better. I changed schools and had a great highschool experience after that. I wish those two girls could have seen that dawn after the dark.

Facebook comment from Sarah Smith-Frigerio

on Apr 21, 2011 at 1:16 PM

The goal is to teach our teens that high school is not the end all be all. Remember when we were bullied in high school? Remember that one girl who did not like you, and tried to make your life miserable? That's never going to change. But we knew it was only going to last for so long. We would grow up, go to college, move away, and it would be over. Somehow, our children are missing that knowledge. I think we need to make sure that they know these things happen, it sucks, and it will soon be over!

mummajenni

on Apr 21, 2011 at 2:19 PM

Schools have to be involved to help stop the bullying. But like other moms have pointed out, where are the parents of these awful troll bullies?? Cheering them on, I bet...

Nonmember comment from Christine

on Apr 21, 2011 at 4:01 PM

My 5 year old daughter is so unlike me when I was her age in that she is very confident in herself and really does not care what others think of her (if the thinking is negative). For example, she already gets teased in preschool because she likes to play with the boys as well as the girls and I guess boys still have cooties these days. My daughter does not care and often will say something like, "if you don't want to play with the boys, that is your problem" and run off to play. I really hope she maintains this confidence in grade school. I did not get bullied when I was younger, but I was so hard on myself for not ever fitting in. Not until I realized just a few years ago that the only way to "fit in" is to be yourself AND be HAPPY with who you are do you truly fit in anywhere!

Facebook comment from Judy Waugh

on Apr 21, 2011 at 7:28 PM

No one should ever think bullying is a small problem that all kids go through.

Nonmember comment from Alla

on Apr 21, 2011 at 8:36 PM

Bullying didn't cause this suicide and nobody better dare blame the kids who were doing the bullying. These girls obviously had deep-seated issues and they fed off eachother. The parents should have kept a better eye on them plain and simple.

Facebook comment from Arlene Simpson-Pooli

on Apr 21, 2011 at 8:40 PM

Schools have to be involved to help stop the bullying. But like other moms have pointed out, where are the parents of these awful troll bullies?? If the parents dont pay attention to their children being bullies the authorities should be called in to deal with it, after all they are called CHILD PROTECTORS and quit possibly there maybe a underlying cause for the bullier being a bully. Children feel unsafe as being abused by their abusers. Scared to ask for help from parents and officials, so they feel nothing can be done to stop the hurt accept to stop it them selves. I attempted to deal with a problem by cutting my wrists some time ago and that caused me to have help come to me without directly asking for it. I feel empathy for the children their families and the parents of these children. BUT AUTHORITIES NEED TO HELP TO MAKE A CHANGE COMPLETE< NOT JUST SAY RULES YOU GOTTA STAND UP AND MAKE IT HAPPEN.