Just when you thought it couldn't get any better, folks. We have breaking news from Charlie Sheen. Apparently, Charlie Sheen is hiring. Yup, Old Team Sheen needs an intern. Not just any intern, but a "winning" one. Of course, "tiger blood" is required (is there a blood test, I wonder?).
Part of me isn't surprised. Charlie Sheen is a busy guy. I'm sure he's got interview requests out the wahzoo. He just launched his new online show Sheen's Korner. He's got phone calls to return, offers coming in, and many more things that I don't even know about because a) I'm not a "total bitchin' rock star from Mars" (if I had to choose, I'd hail from Jupiter, thank you very much) and b) I'm not crazypants.
So, the burning question is: would you let your kid work for The Sheen Team?
I thought about it some more. My mom always taught me when trying to figure out a difficult situation, make a list of pros and cons. When you do that, the internship doesn't seem like such a bad idea:
Pro #1: Your kid would make connections. Agents! Celebrities! Managers! Porn stars! Think about who's calling Charlie Sheen -- every single journalist in the business today, from Barbara Walters to Oprah, wants to sit down with him. If your teen makes that connection happen, if he delivers Charlie Sheen to them, they will owe him. Having Queen Oprah owe your kid a favor? Priceless.
Pro #2: Your kid will be paid. I don't ever remember hearing of an internship that's paid. And I don't think he's talking $10 an hour. The dude made a butt-load of cash with Two and a Half Men. He's loaded. Heck, it may be enough for your kid's college education.
Pro #3: The weather. It's nice and warm in Los Angeles. Hey, it's a perk.
Pro #4: Your kid would learn a lot. Like the eating habits of a goddess. Or how to break another World Record, maybe hitting the record number of tweets using #winning. And how often does your child get to witness someone with Adonis DNA do, well, anything? These are life lessons, skills you can't learn from a book, ladies!
Pro #5: It's only for eight weeks. C'mon, how bad could it be for eight weeks?
Okay, now for the cons.
Con #1: Your kid's boss would be Charlie Sheen.
Hmmm, I think one is enough, don't you?
Would you let your kid work for Charlie Sheen?
Image via CBS