At Least Charlie Sheen Didn't Screw Up His TV Nephew

Jeanne Sager
10

Angus T. Jones Charlie SheenForget Justin Bieber. America, we have a real teen idol. His name is Angus T. Jones. Or as he's better known, Jake Harper, Charlie Sheen's nephew on his now cancelled sitcom Two and a Half Men.

Better known that way because that's the way Jones has kept it. Despite a contract that ensured him a marker in the history books as the highest paid kid in Hollywood (yup, he makes more than Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez and the rest of the Disney crew), despite having started in the biz at age 4, and despite working every day with the head screw-up himself, Angus is almost a non-entity to the paparazzi

I've never seen him smoking a bong (salvia or not). Never seen him flipping anyone the bird (Justin!). He's just the "half man" from that CBS show.

But in the wake of the Sheen scandal, we've heard from Sheen himself way too much. We've heard from his goddesses. We've heard from Two and a Half Men co-star Jon Cryer. And Angus could be out there, complaining that he lost his job just when he is going to start facing college bills. He could be telling the world how he was warped as a child star to find old Uncle Charlie passed out under the craft services table or something! I'd buy that sob story! It would tear my parental heart strings right out. But I haven't heard anything from Angus, have you?

Even in the midst of the scandal, when everyone who is anyone is sniffing for Sheen-related dirt, Jones' Wikipedia page is a regular old snoozefest. The town I grew up in has a bigger one. And it has a population of 216 people! TWO HUNDRED SIXTEEN.

And Angus T. Jones is a 17-year-old boy who would, understandably, have urges to go do wild and crazy stuff. And there's nothing. Zilch. Nada. I'd like to give him a lot of credit, followed up with a big round of applause for his parents. I'd love to know their secret.

They let their kid hang out with Charlie Sheen every day, and he's so ... normal. Frankly, I'd like to ask the Jones family to bottle whatever it is they did and start selling it. Angus would never have to work again -- I'd be the first line to buy it, no matter the price.

What do you think of this young man? Do you know much about him?

 

Image via CBS

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