'Twilight' Fan Makes Boyfriend Bite Like Edward

Jeanne Sager
14

bite marksIn case you needed more proof that Twilight makes our kids batty, here you go. A teenage girl in Florida is in trouble with the law after she filed a police report claiming bite marks on her neck came from an unknown attacker while she was out jogging. The real "vampire" was her 19-year-old boyfriend.

Turns out the 15-year-old (whose name seems to be withheld because she's a minor) didn't know how to explain the teeth imprints all over her bod to her parents. So she concocted the whole jogger attack to throw them off track. And to think our generation just threw on a long-sleeve shirt with a turtleneck and called it a day.

Then again, our generation only had some unsightly hickies to contend with. Now we have the biting trend among the teen set. And I have to say it. I'm all for kids letting their freak flags fly and having some personality. I'm also a big fan of kids releasing a little sexual tension without engaging in actual sex -- no teen pregnancy here!

But this one has to end. Now. Please, Twilight fans! Hickies are every generation's cross to bear for their ... well, uselessness? But beyond being ridiculously painful and pointless, biting your lover is actually dangerous.

Even if the average teen is smart enough to just throw on a hoodie, they still have serious germs to contend with. You've heard the legend that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's? It's actually sort of true. What's in a dog's mouth may not be as dangerous to humans as it is to other dogs, but that also means the bacteria in a human's mouth is more dangerous to other humans. And if they're biting hard enough to break the skin, the bacteria then creeps inside and can cause infection.

As much as 15 to 30 percent of human bites (not counting little kids' bites, which rarely break the skin) will become infected with creepy crawlies like streptococci, staphylococci, anaerobic organisms. Kids, that just isn't sexy. So let's get back to making out. And leave the biting to Robert Pattinson.

Did kids bite in your day?

 

Image via little blue hen/Flickr

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