Patience is a virtue and unfortunately it's one I don't have. I could really use it though. As a writer, I spend most of my days waiting on people to get back to my emails. As I wait for people to respond to me, I can usually be found clawing at my thigh like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, hissing, "I won't be ignored, Dan!" Only, I don't usually say "Dan." Unless I'm waiting on an email from Dan.

Getting worked up while waiting for email responses isn't a good idea. By the time someone gets back to you, you can lose sight of the fact that they answered your email and get caught up in how long it took to answer. And that can make you snippy. All in all, it's best to be patient when waiting on emails. Great gods of Gmail, it's freaking hard though! Whether you're waiting on a response from your boss, your husband, your kids, your kids' teachers, whomever, it's not fun. Here are five things you can do to make the wait more tolerable.

We all know hate and negativity on the Internet have reached epic proportions, but it seems to be particularly ugly on Twitter, where people aren't just commenting on an article or blog, but sending their hate directly to an individual. Celebrities are often the targets for such tweet-hate, but anyone can get it. One Direction's Zayn Malik quit Twitter over its tweet hate, but then was coaxed back into returning. "Angelina Jolie" (was it her?!) tweeted about it, saying, "The things people say under alias names are so sad. So much filth and anger ... " And LeAnn Rimes checked herself into a treatment center after suffering brutal bullying on Twitter by a mom and her daughter.

Good news for all you Fifty Shades of Grey fans. I know when you're reading the trilogy, you are thinking one thing. You're thinking, I wish I could meet these characters. I wish I could be these characters. I wish I could ... Tweet with these characters! Yes, that's what you're thinking. Don't front me. Well, finally, you can! Christian, Anastasia, Katherine, Elliot, and other characters from the book are now on Twitter. And they're Tweetin' up a storm. Let's see what these randy bishes have to say.

It seems like every other day there's a story in the world of tech news that involves a man and a woman getting into some crazy altercation over sexting. A man catches his wife sexting with the neighbor; a woman catches her husband sexting with the nanny. Same soup, different bowl. We've all heard so many renditions of this story that they're not even interesting anymore. Not the case with this one. In this episode of "Explosive Arguments Stemmed from Sexting," a man smoked weed, talked to his cats, then tried to shoot his wife.

Smartphones have completely revolutionized the way we do everything during our day. We wake up to our smartphone's alarm. We use the smartphone to find out what time the bus comes. At work, we get news updates thanks to notifications from that beautiful little piece of equipment. Looking for a lunch spot? Oh that's easy with this here little app ... on your smartphone. OK, OK, you get the idea.

So are you ready for a late afternoon chuckle? A study recently came out that reveals 68 percent of the smartphone owners "can't live without their smartphones." Sixty. Eight. That's not not a lot of technologically addicted individuals, amiright? 

The reality: Yes, we could live without our phones. But to be real, I for one just wouldn't want to.

Yesterday, I wrote about STFUParents and my view that some of the postings were an invasion of privacy. Many disagreed with me, contending that anything on the Internet is public. However, if that were true, I would write the sequel to the bestselling book Go the F-ck to Sleep. Because that book began as a joke on the author's Facebook page. Maybe Adam Mansbach won't mind. Hey, Adam, it was on your Facebook page! It's mine now, allllll mine. Bwahaha.

Apparently some people -- like the coughSan Diego Padrescough -- think that emails too should be sent around for mass consumption. When the baseball team got an angry email from frustrated job seeker Taylor Grey Meyer, they decided to circulate it.

A couple of years after my fiancé and I broke up, I received a friend request from him on Facebook. I guess it made sense. While I'd decided that being real world friends didn't quite work for me, I wasn't exactly hating him either. So when I saw the friend request, I momentarily thought about accepting it. It would be the mature thing to do, right? Wrong. The mature thing to do is whatever moves you forward into a peaceful, calm, and happy existence. And looking at my ex's new life wouldn't help with that. So I did not accept.

Some couples are instant and true friends after their breakup. I don't happen to know any of them, but rumor has it they exist. If those ex-couples want to be Facebook friends, so be it. But the rest of us should defriend, at least for awhile. Here are 6 of the lamest excuses for not unfriending your ex on Facebook.

For your average celebrity, you know -- the Justin Timberlakes, the Ryan Goslings -- it's normal to have a following online. For a man charged with 24 counts of murder in the shooting deaths of a dozen people in an Aurora, Colorado movie theater? Not so much. I couldn't be more mortified that, yes, James Holmes fans exist, and yes -- they are everywhere.

Declaring themselves as Holmies, James Holmes' fans are posting their devotion for the 24-year-old gunman everywhere online. They're wearing plaid, in reference to the report that he was wearing plaid when first arrested, drinking Slurpees, in reference to an interview he was featured in when he was 18, and are hard at work creating loads of illustrations focusing on Holmes' bright orange-ish red 'do.

... WTF.