'Twas the Night Before Christmas, the Techie Version

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'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the burg
The games were all running, both Angry and Bird.
The Instagram shots are all shared and directed,
And NORAD reported "SANTA DETECTED."

The children were reading iBooks on their 'Pads.
There was Reddit and Houzz for their Moms and their Dads.
Notifications sprung to their screens in a flash
Telling them Paypal had just eaten their cash.

No one was talking and no one was singing
Just pigs in Star Wars scenes they were swinging.
But out on the lawn we heard such a noise
That the kids almost looked up from their glowing toys.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen slush
Made it look like a Vine someone had sent via push.
And chatheads popped up and mumbled, "What could that be?"
But nobody got up because Plant must Zombie.

Santa called out with a merry refrain:
"Merry Christmas to all, you called me, I came."
The kids all looked up then down at their stuff
Because someone had Tweeted some new Bieber fluff.

Santa stood in the snow, dumbfounded and puzzled
As the families Worded With Friends and karaoked with cousins
They were all Drawing Something when old St. Nick asked
"Anyone here want a toy from my sack?"

Nobody answered, the streets were all quiet
Because on our phones we were planning our diets.
We were emailing friends pictures of cats at play
While dear old St. Nick headed back the his sleigh.

"Goodnight merry people, I hope that you'll see
That Christmas is not about you nor about me.
It's about quiet reflection and songs by the fire
But the way things are going the situation is dire."

"When I landed to see you no wonder was had
Just a dead, glass-eyed glance from each lass and lad.
You, mom and pop, are no better with your iPads aglow,
Spending hours on the web while your dear babies grow."

"I'll be back next year and next year we'll find
If this holiday spirit can be fixed in your minds.
I worry, dear friends, that you've turned into slaves
To the glowing white box in your dark, secret caves."

"So goodnight dearest mums and good night dearest dads
Go outside for some air, there's much to be had.
It's crisp and it's clear and the world is so real
And there is no joy to be found in things you can't feel."

He put his sleigh into drive, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
"Turn off your gadgets, and to all a good night!"

 

Image via Creative Commons

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