I have a cat, which means I'm constantly being criticized for every single thing that I do. You cat people know what I'm talking about, right? Owning a dog is like having a tiny robot arm attached to your back that delivers an endless series of reassuring pats -- you got out of your chair! Hooray for YOU! You walked across the room! You're AMAZING! -- but owning a cat basically means you're sharing your house with a personalized, fur-covered burn book. Sure, cats may occasionally sit in your lap and purr and appear to be adoring, but as soon as you turn your back, they're noting your various shortcomings: "FAILED TO FILL KIBBLE BOWL TO THE TOP. STROKED FUR .00002 SECONDS TOO LONG. DIDN'T IMMEDIATELY OPEN FRONT DOOR UPON REQUEST."
Cats are judgmental as hell, which means they're an awful lot like Internet commenters. Specifically, angry commenters who flock to parenting articles. That's right, dear readers, I'm talking about some of YOU.
The commenter who is absolutely disgusted by your language. Just disgusted. And you call yourself a mother!
The commenter who would like to correct you on that tiny typo in the second paragraph.
The commenter who straight-up doesn't like you. Nope. Not one little bit.
Via Grumpy Cat
The commenter who just really feels sorry for your children.
The commenter who would never make the same parenting choices you do.
Via Daily Mail
The commenter who just has to laugh at how wrong you are. So, so wrong.
The commenter who -- what did you just say? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? She will fight you RIGHT NOW, she swears to god.
Image via fraise/Flickr
The commenter who is so bored she didn't even read this, but for some reason left a lengthy comment saying so.
The commenter who cannot even believe you wrote this crap. This is, no kidding, the most stupid thing in the entire world. She just hopes you're proud.
Which comment cats do you encounter on a regular basis?