phone callSo tell me, how do you feel about calling customer service? I don't know about you, but interactions with my Internet provider have caused me to froth at the mouth while my head turns inside-out. Know what I mean? That's why I love this recording of a man going Apocalypse Now! on a customer service line. His meltdown was so epic, someone claiming to be an employee of the unnamed security system company had to post it because "it belongs on the Internet." Indeed it does. Keep in mind, this customer had been kicked around on the support line for three hours. I guess it goes without saying, but fair warning: This recording is NSFW. Put on your headphones and turn the sound down, because you've got some high-decibel F-bombs coming your way.

One more warning! NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW.

 

I've never screamed this much over the phone. And I would never threaten to bring a machine gun and attack everyone at a call center! But I have found myself getting far ruder than I'd ever be with anyone face-to-face. I'm not proud to admit this. Of course, it's important to distinguish between customer service telling you something you don't want to hear (remind me to never, ever work in customer support) and just plain providing lousy customer service. Let's see what that would involve:

  • That annoying recording that goes "WE VALUE OUR CUSTOMER" or some such other blatant lie.
  • Hold music.
  • Putting you on hold for long periods of time.
  • Putting you on hold and then dropping your call.
  • Transferring you to people who end up transferring you to someone else until you get passed around like Aunt Eulalie's fruit cake.
  • Dropping you while transferring your call.
  • Asking you for the same information over and over again.
  • Any combination of the above.

You just feel so powerless! That's what this is all about. You need help. You're probably already frustrated by the time you pick up the phone. And then? You're lost in this hopeless Kafkaesque hall of mirrors phone hellscape, and your only chance for escape (hanging up) will result in never getting your issue resolved. What keeps us hanging on? That misguided belief that all that time we've invested in this farce of a customer call will eventually get us somewhere. And by the way, I don't blame the operators; I blame their managers or whoever is in charge of running the place.

I guess at this point in the post, we should ponder the question of whether or not this call is fake. I say it goes on wayyy too long to be fake. Also: I want it to be real because CUSTOMER SERVICE, ARGH!

What do you think is the most frustrating thing about customer support calls?

 

Image via Rocketface/Flickr