Ah, pregnancy. Such a beautiful time, isn't it? You're growing a little life inside you! You're glowing! You're zen! Everything's a-okay! Well, at least that's how you can make it seem on Facebook. Even if your reality is swollen feet, non-stop trips to the bathroom, morning sickness, and mood swings that rival Amanda Bynes', your social network of friends don't need to know that.
Here are 5 ways to make your pregnancy seem like the best ever on Facebook.
1. Only post when you're in a good mood. If you're feeling extra hormonal, step away from the keyboard. When you're pregnant, every minute's a crapshoot. One moment, you're fine, the next, you're sobbing at the stray cat you just happened upon in the street. Only post when everything is yay! Happy! Fun times! This way, everyone will think it's yay! Happy! Fun times! All the time!
2. Don't post about your pregnancy too often. Pregnancy is super exciting, but nobody wants to read about it 24:7. Post about your gestation, oh, every other week or so, and have other things sprinkled in between. This way, not only will people be excited when you post, they'll think your "non-pregnant life" is keeping you super busy in the meantime.
3. Only post photos where you look breathtaking and stunning. Duh. This is a no-brainer whether you're pregnant or not.
4. Don't post the baby's name on Facebook beforehand. Pregnancy is nothing if not nine months of sheer suspense. You want to keep your "audience" guessing and wondering. This way, when you do unveil the little bundle's name, it will be an uprising of "likes" like no other.
5. Lie. Lie your pregnant ass off. Say your child had an IQ test in utero and blew it out of the water. If people dare to question whether or not you're telling the truth, just make them feel stupid. Say something like: "Oh, you must go to a really crappy doctor if you've never heard of this test."
Do you post on Facebook about your pregnancy?
Image via Montse PB/Flickr