The 5 Types of Facebook Users: Which One Are You?

friendsHi. This is a quiz. Not a quiz in the traditional sense in which you will either be graded or have to turn the magazine you're reading upside down to see which eyes belong to which celebrity. It's a quiz for your own personal benefit, growth, and knowledge. But no, it's not a Myers Briggs test. That's a big test to write. It's a quiz that will reveal the kind of Facebook user you are. Deep down, you probably already know, but it's nice and solidifying to have things in writing, isn't it?

Here are 5 kinds of Facebook users: Which one are you?

1. The Runner. You have legs. And feet. But you don't use your legs and feet in the traditional sense, meaning to get from Point A to Point B. You run to from Point A to Point B. Or sometimes you run nowhere. But you always let your Facebook community know how long it took you to get to nowhere. And we're supposed to be impressed even if we have no idea what a good time in running means. Is less than a day good or bad?

2. The Silent Stalker. You're never/always on Facebook. You constantly know what's going on in other people's lives, but you'll never, ever post anything to your own profile. You may "like" something someone posts to your wall. But that's as far as you're willing to extend yourself. You act like you think Facebook is tired and a waste of precious time that could be better spent listening to Buckingham Nicks records, eating something artisan, and hating your parents, but you can't quit it. Or you would have already. 

More from The Stir: 10 Surefire Ways to Be That Obnoxious Facebook Friend

3. The Virtual Edward R. Murrow. "OMG, James Gandolfini died! Heard it here first!" Any time anything is going on in the world -- particularly of the political nature -- the virtual Eddie is all over it. They want you to know that they're in the know.

4. The Every-Mundane-Thing-Is-Amazing User. The EMTIA User doesn't just have a cup of tea, they experience it. Prepare to be dazzled with well-styled, double-filtered, back-lit photos of the cup of tea the EMTIA user is enjoying. And don't be surprised if you suddenly have a hankering for some PG Tips yourself.

5. The One-Track Poster. For the One Tracker Poster, Facebook is a means for one subject and one subject only. And usually their one subject is obnoxious. Think GMOs, CrossFit, and local politics that have nothing to do with anyone else. 

6. The Birthday Bomber. No matter if the Birthday Bomber hasn't seen you since 3rd grade, she will wish you a happy birthday and you will like it goddammit.

What kind of Facebook user are you?



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worki... workingmama86

I really don't fit any of those catagories. I pretty much update my status once a week or so, and it always pertains to my children. lol. I do comment on other statuses if they say something that i have a response to. And i usually get on to talk to old friends or family members. 

nonmember avatar Kylie

Omgoodness... I knew it. But I don't want everybody around the freaking world to know what i'm doing all the time. I like knowing what other people are doing though... that way I'm not caught off guard while being stabbed in the back!

slcjcc09 slcjcc09

I'd have to add a type, I'm afraid. 

The's89 albums of them being cute and every status will mention at least one by name because they do/say astonishing things that the world must know about! All because I have friends or family in faraway lands (or the next town over) who need to be in the know..."


nonmember avatar NoWay

slcjcc09 ... LOL! I have friends like that. :) They should have "The Commenter" ... that would be me. I like to comment on everyone else's status, but often don't post one of my own. :)

Cupca... Cupcake_mama_22

I am non of these types. I update my status but not about what I'm eating or everywhere I go. I do share things about GMOs but I also share fashion things, bf'ing facts (for my other bf'ing moms) and chat with my friends and family I don't see often.

There needs to be a Random-Facebooker. Lol

nymom13 nymom13

I guess I'm the stalker. I like a lot of stuff, but rarely post anything and I always wish my friends a Happy Birthday-usually I'm the first to do so on their page.

Lenor... Lenore411

What's wrong with the One Track Poster, and the comment "and usually their one subject is obnoxious. Think GMOs, CrossFit, and local politics that have nothing to do with anyone else." is really ignorant.  GMOs have to do with EVERYONE.  Just saying!

nonmember avatar kaerae

Def. a silent stalker. I look a couple times a week, but almost never post. No need to let 100 people know what I had for dinner or who irritated me that day, I like my privacy, but it's fun to watch other people spread their lives out on display...kind of like a bad reality show. Most of my fb friends are pretty cool, but the crazy few are much more fun to watch!

Cye Cye

Edward R. Murrow? I'm really old and even I wouldn't have used that reference. Will any of these 35 year olds even know who that is?

Karen Talbott

I don't see a true fit for me....I update my status on the need to know basis, and I usually like and/or comment on other's updates. I'm not big on posting pics either. I enjoy animal related posts. And I enjoy observing others in their updates...

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