Ah, the Internet. Great, isn't it? You can be a 400-pound, balding man living in your parents' basement, but make it seem like you're a 22-year-old ripped Navy SEAL. Lies! The Internet is filled with lies, I say! And it's all because it's so easy -- when you don't have to present yourself in real life, anything is possible.
But when happens when you're honest? Too honest, actually? Turns out, really awesome things.
A person put their old Subaru up for sale on Craigslist, and instead of lying about all the "amazing" things it has to offer, the seller was completely, hilariously honest, referring to the vehicle as "an automotive chastity belt". Here are a few excerpts from the hysterical ad:
Check engine light has been on for about 200,000 miles. My dad put a piece of black electrical tape over it, but that fell off two summers ago, and a bumblebee got stuck on the piece of tape when it was laying on the dashboard and carried it away.
If you're a parent considering buying and fixing up this car for a teenager in your house who imagines they'll use it to go to the local drive-in theater with a cute boy / girl and let their hormones run wild, rest assured, this car is an automotive chastity belt. I mean, look at it. Every part of the car is shaped and styled like the least attractive parts of the human anatomy. The back is too small to lay down in, the rear seats are contoured in such a way as to make love-making impossible, and the center console is loaded with enough protuberances and jagged edges that necking could lead to a visit to the emergency room. This car is the anti-boner, its pastel paint job and fabric interior dousing any hormonal flames. Trust me on this, I drove this car for four years. Your teenager will experience a baffling streak of abstinence when they drive this car, to their frustration, and your relief.
Okay, so clearly the seller had a fun time writing this ad, but the best part about this is that it shows that there is actual honesty online. And it's awesome! Doesn't it always feel a little shady buying something off of Craigslist or eBay? Kind of always feels like someone's trying to pull one over just to make a buck. I don't think anyone has any false pretenses about what they're going to get with this car. But I do think someone'll buy it. Why? Because clearly an awesome person owned it. And sometimes, that's worth more than anything when you're buying something blindly off the Internet. There are some real weirdos out there.
What do you think of this ad? Would you buy this car?
Image via whynotzoidberg/Flickr