Hey, Facebook friends and non-friends! How much are your Facebook friends worth to you? Yeah, I know, they're priceless, right? Especially those ones who Vaguebook and Mommyjack. They're always worth a laugh. But I'm talking money terms here. Did you know when we "like" our favorite brands on Facebook, it's just like giving them cash? A new study that claims that companies make $174.17 for every Facebook "like" that you give them. This is because fans of brands on Facebook spend $116 or more a year on a brand's products than do non-fans. And they're more loyal. And they spend more on those types of products in general. And blah blah blah. But seriously, how much are your friends worth? I decided to do my own Facebook friend value study. It's very scientific, I swear.
Here are 18 Facebook friends and what they're worth.
$20. For the friend who "likes" everything you post. Sometimes it's only because of this friend that you post at all, amiright?
$25. The friend who writes, "LOL!" after jokes you make. Or even when you're not making a joke.
$30. The friend who responds intelligently and eloquently to your observations. Someone takes me seriously! Wah!
$45. The friend who writes, "Did you lose weight?" on the photo with you and your double chin.
$50. The friend who doesn't unfriend you after you rail on her wall about something she said that you totally disagreed with, but later on realize you totally overreacted. I mean, it's Facebook.
$60. The friend who admits she's drunk Facebooking.
$75. The hot friend who posts pics of himself or herself on the beach. Grab a glass of wine and stalk away!
$100. The friend who writes, "Beautiful as always!" on your selfies.
$125. The friend who unfriends your ex even though she has nothing against him.
$140. The friend who writes, "I agree with (your name)!" when everyone is getting on your case about something you posted.
$145. The friend who writes, "What a handsome couple!" on a pic of you and hubby swilling beers.
$150. The friend who has lots of good-looking friends who you can troll and then send friend requests to.
$155. The friend who is up at 2 a.m. and IMs when you have insomnia.
$160. The friend who posts cat videos.
$165. The friend who posts, "Thanks for sharing! That made my day!" on your cat videos.
$175. The friend who always shares when you beg everyone to share -- and no one does except that friend.
$200. The friend who writes, "What's wrong? I hope you are okay!" after your self-pitying post about your terrible day.
$1,000. The friend who writes, "AWWWWW!!! Most precious baby EVER!!!!" after your millionth pic of your googly-eyed newborn spitting up on herself.
But let's be serious. We love our friends -- at least these types -- but most of us aren't Mark Zuckerberg gazillionaires. So they'll just have to be happy with our (free) friendship!
What other types of Facebook friends would you pay good money for? I mean, if you were a gazillionaire.
Image via JohnanLarsson/Facebook