We talk a lot about which Facebook updates are the most annoying, but let's be honest: it's downright petty to criticize what other people share. Who cares what people post on their own personal accounts, right? If we don't like what someone has to say, we have all sorts of useful options -- like unfriending, hiding their updates, or, you know, not using Facebook altogether.

That SAID (oh, you know I wasn't ending things there, right?), there are times when the most tempting response is a bitchy one. Buzzfeed recently did a roundup of some of the best Facebook comebacks, and the results are HILARIOUS. Check out these top 5 comebacks from their list … and 5 of my own snarky zingers we'd all secretly love to post in response to those oh-so-annoying updates.

More from The Stir: 10 Surefire Ways to Be That Obnoxious Facebook Friend

The breastfeeding-brag comeback of the year:


Oh, Emily:



Well, THIS was awkward:

Worst. "Help." Ever.


Only 87 likes???


And speaking of comebacks, here are a few more I'd secretly love to see pop up next to the most irritating statuses:

The rhetorical question status update. "Is it Friday yet? LOL."

What we'd like to say: "According to the Gregorian calendar which is the internationally accepted civil calendar that was first adopted in 1582 ... no."
What we really say: "Hahaha I wish!"


The fitness humblebrag. "I just ran 27 miles, whew! Can I have a cookie now?"

What we'd like to say: "Only if that cookie contains an ingredient that seals your brag-hole shut for at least a week."
What we really say: "OMG of course! Have a whole box!"


The annoying inspirational quote. "Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!"

What we'd like to say: "Awesome. Let us know when you're done counting to infinity."
What we really say: "So true!"


The oversharing kid photo. "Check out Muffy's crib -- SOMEONE learned to take her diaper off during naptime! Ha ha ha!"

What we'd like to say: "Congratulations, you must be so proud! That fecal art is worthy of the MoMA."
What we really say: "Oh man! Try duct tape?"


The "hilarious" e-card share.

What we'd like to say: "Original humor is SO overrated, isnt' it?"
What we really say: *crickets*

Have you ever seen a truly memorable Facebook comeback?

Images via Buzzfeed, Ed Yourdon/Flickr