Follow The Stir

Mom Moment

Posting Photos of People's Kids on Facebook Without Asking Is Rude

by Nicole Fabian-Weber on December 11, 2012 at 10:58 AM

cute kidQuestion: Does it bother you when people post photos of your kids on Facebook -- without asking? You know the drill. You're sitting there, minding your business, you log on to Facebook, and you see that little red notification flag at the top left hand corner of your screen. "Oh great," you think. "Someone tagged a super-unflattering photo of me." But then you realize it's a pic of your kid. Do you get kind of pissed?

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of this scenario. I'm a big believer in asking someone if you can put their photo online, and, to me, people's kids fall under the blanket of "you." I know, I know. No one is posting a photo of your child online to be a jerk -- they're doing it to be sweet, actually. But, I don't know, there's just something a little weird-feeling about logging into a massive social network and seeing that a photo of your child has been posted sans a heads-up.

But the thing is -- I didn't realize this was a potential social media faux pas until I had a kid of my own.

I'm not the world's most active Facebook user, but every once in a while, I'll post a few photos from a holiday or a barbecue to Facebook. And if there happened to be a particularly cute photo of a little one who was in attendance, I'd include the photo into the group, not thinking this would maybe be annoying to the parents. I wasn't trying to be a jerk, I just didn't realize. My bad. Sorry, parents.

Look -- is seeing a photo of your baby on Facebook the end of the world? No. Of course it isn't. But I do think it's worth an ask before adding a pic of someone's kid. It may be silly to you, but, in my opinion, it's the polite thing to do.

Does it bother you when people post photos of your kids without asking?

Image via Jos. Ng./Flickr

Filed Under: facebook


  • Pinkmani


    December 11, 2012 at 11:03 AM

    I remember seeing a picture on Facebook of some girls and a mom asked the poster to remove the picture of her daughter and the poster refused. I say try not to let your kids get their picture taken of.

  • Jenni...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Jennifer Binck Lowe

    December 11, 2012 at 11:09 AM

    I have a few close friends whose kids I post photos of, but we have discussed it and are OK with it. And, if I take a group shot, I blur out the faces of the kids who arent close friends. I think it's common courtesy...not everyone wants their children's faces online.

  • Tripl...


    December 11, 2012 at 11:13 AM
    Actually, I think the onus is on me as a parent if I'm uptight about pictures to ask people not to take pictures of my LO. Otherwise it's basically their prerogative what to do with their pics (unless the pic was taken illicitly and/or is obviously inappropriate in some way).
  • Lovin...


    December 11, 2012 at 11:18 AM

    I always ask permission to use a picture I took that has other parents kids in it. My close family and friends know I don't mind if they post pictures of them and my children together because its been discussed. If someone I didn't really know posted my child's picture without asking, yes I think it would be rude. But it's because of the times we are in. I don't know the people said person is friends with and I don't know their account settings. Maybe all their pictures are private but maybe they are all public. I don't know that. I respect everyone's feelings on their subject and post accordingly

  • AdryF


    December 11, 2012 at 11:28 AM
    I can't stand it! I have had run ends with problems with it in the past. (Long story). But if I don't say it is okay don't do it. Don't get me wrong a few ppl do. But I know that the pics r private and we have mostly the same friends... (like my mom, or my best friend) otherwise you shouldn't be taking pics of my kids to start with. I mean group shots don't bother me. Like at a birthday party but otherwise no. Just ask first.
  • jmama...


    December 11, 2012 at 11:43 AM

    I don't mind if it's my family or close friends but I would mind if it's a person I just met. 

  • dirti...


    December 11, 2012 at 12:21 PM

    i don't have a fb, but nearly all of my friends and family do. and some 'close' family members have no filters, and just literally accept ANYBODY's friend request. this annoys me, because then i don't know who all can see my kids' photos. so if i send any out (via secure email service or website - is wonderful for this! they allow you to screen who receives photos and you must approve all people before they receive ANYthing.) i put a note each time - *please do not share via social media. Thanks!* does my family think i'm a little nuts? eh, maybe. but they're my kids, and it's my preference that they not have their photos splashed all over the place. 

  • kelli...


    December 11, 2012 at 12:22 PM

    I've never run into this, yet.

    But it does irk me when I post a picture of my child, and someone else "shares" it without my permission.  I had a distant family member that I rarely saw do this with EVERY SINGLE picture I ever posted of my child on Facebook. 

  • Three...


    December 11, 2012 at 2:05 PM

    As long as it is not an inappropriate picture, I don't think it is a big deal.  It would also depend on whether or not their name were attached to the photo in the caption.  If it said my child's first & last name, too, then I might have an issue with it...  but I post pictures of my friends' kids with my kids all the time.  They post of mine, too.  If I don't have a close relationship with the child's parent, I'd still post the picture -- I just would not say who it is.  I don't see the harm in others seeing a picture of some random, nameless kid they don't know -- who happens to be posing with my kids.  It's not like I'm tagging the picture with "Johnny Smith, 123 Apple Lane, Denver, CO" so everyone knows who they are and where they live.

  • Shell...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Shelly Johns

    December 11, 2012 at 2:07 PM

    I've never had this problem... but I also don't have people I don't know taking pictures of my kids...  If it ever came to that... I would like the person to ask first before posting.

1-10 of 39 comments

To leave a comment, log in as a CafeMom member:

Log In

OR, use our non-member comment form: