iPhone 5 Madness Is Proof We're All in Big Trouble

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Imagine a world where a seething mass of people line up to ... donate kidneys. Hard to imagine, eh? Or one where a huge crowd of people all clamor to ... volunteer at a soup kitchen. Seeing it? Me neither. Now imagine a writhing mass of  humanity gathered to .. get the latest iPhone. Hey, you don't have to imagine. There are pictures! It happens! Of course it does. Because we live in a world where thousands of people line up to get their hands on the latest electronic gadget. Where cops are called in to keep the peace. Where people actually applaud you when you leave the Apple store like you just discovered the cure for cancer. Sigh. What a world.

The iPhone 5 went on sale at 8 a.m. today in New York and people lined up at least 24 hours in advance. These people probably took the day off work, too. They spent hours in a line when they could be, I don't know, living?

The biggest new change to the iPhone seems to be its new Lightning port. Its what? Yeah, exactly. Can you tell where I was last night? Or rather, where I was not?

It's also slightly larger, which means there's "more room for gaming and media consumption." Hoo boy. Can't you already do that on your computer? And your TV? And your other iPhone? And your iPad?

I think its creepy and sad to line up for anything you can buy. I don't care if it's the latest toy, the coolest sneaker, or the new smartphone. STUFF cannot make you happy, except for maybe a few days. No wonder we're all so miserable, addicted to anti-depressants and booze and food. We're a society that goes cray for a little square piece of metal. It's not the key to personal fulfillment. You're just gonna want the iPhone 6 in a few months.

The iPhone isn't selling apps. It's not selling games. And it's certainly not selling human connection via the actual talking-to-people part of the iPhone. It's selling a dream. Some kind of a weird "This will make me happy" dream. But when you're 80 years old, you won't even remember your iPhone. Trust me, you won't. It's iPhoney.

If only people were as enthusastic about, say, adopting discarded pets or parentless children. Or feeding the homeless. What a different world this would be. Besides, you could have gotten the iPhone in a few days without the wait.

Have you ever lined up to buy a new gadget?

Image via Apple.com


cell phone, apple


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right... rightside

I think Apple could fill a box with cat turds, slap the Apple logo on it, and the Apple-seeds would be like "OMG...Apple turds....eeeeeeeee.......let's be first in line!"

Amber... Amberleigh81

Ohmigoodness... I love you.

nonmember avatar Katy

I know I know but I want one!! I have a 4 and I want the better camera... But we're not up for a new contract or phone until January and I refuse to pay full price almost 700 a phone!!! NO WAY!! And come January I might as well hold out for the 6 or 5 1/2 whatever it might be. But I really can't wait for a better camera!! But as with the 4 and 4s the people who lined up at the doors had glitches like crazy a few month later people buying 4 and 4s phones worked fine... Apple said they changed nothing.... I don't believe it!

p31lady p31lady

I'm getting the iphone 5 in November, and I don't care what anyone thinks because I've waited long enough for one.  I have a tmobile family plan and everyone got upgraded/resigned contracts at different times so everyone's contract ends at different times.  The last two lines are ending in November and we're all moving to Verizon to get iphones.

With that being said, as much as I would have loved to get the 5 as soon as it came out, I'm a little glad I have to wait until November because I remember hearing about how people had glitches with the first batch that came out with one of the previous iphone models.

Lokis... LokisMama

I just don't get the hype, to be honest, but if that's what you want to spend your money on, more power to you.  I'm perfectly happy with my little low-end smart phone because it does everything I need it to and for everything it doesn't, I have a computer. :-p  Plus, my bill is infinitely cheaper. 

effinjen effinjen

IPhone sucks anyway. It's all about the galaxy!

Jscot... Jscott1216

Actually the galaxy sucks! I had one and it was so slow and so buggy I couldn't wait to get rid of that piece of crap! I absolutely LOVE my i5!!! I had the i4 and loved that phone and not once had a problem

With it and now I love my new phone. And any ost who says I'm an idiot or Whatever other stupid childish names you want to call me because I have an iPhone well you can suck it!!

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