There are tons of times that learning something via Facebook is OK. When a friend you've lost touch with has a baby, that's fine. The name of Jessica Simpson's baby girl? Fine too. But the death of your own daughter? Most definitely NOT.
Cheryl Jones, 49, had spoken to her daughter Karla about an hour before she came across a status on Facebook saying, "RIP Karla." Apparently, Karla collapsed and died less than a mile from her home at a friend's apartment. After seeing the status, Cheryl immediately tried to call her daughter, and instead, a police officer at the scene of her daughter's death answered.
WHY wasn't she notified by the police sooner?! She's the next of kin, for crying out loud. That kind of delay is unforgivable, and the whole thing sounds nothing less than an absolutely horrible nightmare.
Can you even imagine losing your daughter and finding out online?!
A lot of people grieve using social networks, which is understandable. Sometimes, though, I get this vibe that it's all about who can post what first. I understand posting your sentiments online about someone that was a critical person in your life. But using sites like Facebook and Twitter to "break" a death announcement, well, that's just cruel.
I'm not saying that's what happened in this case. There is no way whoever posted that "RIP" status could have known whether or not Karla's mother was notified. However, what happened to Cheryl is something I wish upon absolutely no one.
I suppose this is just another instance of how many of us get SO MUCH of our news from the popular website these days. With that, though, comes the reality that you don't know what to expect when you check your newsfeed. It could be something as trivial as breaking celebrity relationship news or, in this case, a horrible nightmare. Most importantly, though, when the bad news comes, it's critical to disconnect and take time to deal with it in the real world instead of staying in staring at a dimly lit screen.
Can you even imagine?
Image via Emily Abbate
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Comments 54
That is terrible. I would wish that upon no mother.
People love to put up RIP. My aunt jokes that this is how she finds out about deaths.
This is horrible.
I found out my cousin died via Facebook. My sister and her two boys died in a house fire, but my mom did not know that my cousin had gone over and died also. So I knew about my sister and nephews but somehow FB people found out about my cousin before my Mother did. It was a devastating blow to find out 12 hours after the first blow that my cousin was there also.
People, especially non-related, need to WAIT before posting these things. Not weeks or anything how about just 24-48 hours. Use a little common sense. The mother had talked to this girl an hour before? Didn't the "friend" who posted the RIP have something better to do than to run to Facebook and announce it to the world. And even if the police had notified the mother in that time people will start liking and commenting and the post spreads to so many pages - think about the father, brothers, sisters, aunts etc.
This happened to us - one relative died, she was ill and we all knew it was likely eventually but will still had hope. One teen cousin just had to run to FB and post a RIP just an hour or so later; while the rest of the family was still making calls and notifying people. Sure enough another cousin read the post during a work break before her Mother could call her and flipped out at work. Instead of being asked to come home and being told when she got there she was so upset we had to go pick her up.
Say your goodbyes, honor the person, post if you want just use a little common sense, think about other peole and maybe wait a little.
I would be livid. But, yes, unfortunately it is so common. My uncle recently passed, and my sister did text me to tell me, but less than half an hour later, it was all over FB. That night we went over to my aunt's house to be with family, and I asked someone if everyone had been notified because if not they were going to find out about it on FB. I would not want to find out that way.
My grandmother has been sick for a while, and she's in and out of the hospital and rehabilitation. I had to find out the last time she had to go back to the hospital via FB. I was on my honeymoon, and noone could be bothered to call me and tell me that she was ill again. I didn't find out until two days later when I got back and was able to get on FB. I was PISSED. Can noone pick up a phone anymore, seriously? I think its so rude to post things like that, that need to be addressed in person. If I have to find out about my grandmothers passing on FB, I will go off on everyone!
I found out my 97yr old great grandma died last year from facebook. My grandma called and told my brother to call me. In stead of calling me his wife decided to post it on facebook.
In 2010 the brother of a close friend of the family was killed in action in Afghanistan, before the family could be notified his unit posted it on FB, the Army sent a special detail to apologize and make the notification to his parents. The damage had already been done. They learned of their sons death half a world away on FB. People need to think about the families. If this girl was a true friend of this womans daughter, as soon as she collapsed she should have been on THE PHONE to the girls mother. Tragic and heartbreaking