The more time you spend on Facebook, the more you have to wonder: when did mothers stop teaching their kids the difference between what you say in polite company and what you say behind closed doors? The sort of sayings most of us would have been uneasy about uttering out at the grocery store or even in a bar have become the norm for Facebook statuses, and I've had about enough!
If your mom and dad didn't teach you that you shouldn't be telling the world about that time you ate bad Chinese food and ... (you don't want to know what goes there), then it's time someone did. So here it is, a definitive list of words that should be avoided on Facebook. Read it, bookmark it, use it ... your "friends" will thank you!
Neone -- Seriously, you're just one letter short of the real thing. Just spell it out already! (This also applies to Gr8, 4eva, etc....).
Vaginal -- There is no word that can follow this and qualify as appropriate for public. Vaginal secretions, neone?
Penile -- Warts, implants, need I go on? It's an ix-nay on the enile-pay folks.
The n-word -- Actually any and all racial slurs should be excised from Facebook immediately (and from your daily speech).
Panties -- If you're using this word, that means you're talking about your underwear, which begs the question: why are you talking about your underwear where your Great-Uncle Mike can read about it?
Potty -- Take it from my friend over at STFU, Parents, nothing good ever comes of talking about the potty ...
Diarrhea -- Ewwwwwwwwww.
Dare -- OK, maybe this isn't a "never" use word, but if you're about to "dare" me to copy and paste something to keep some ridiculous chain going, you're about to be unfriended.
Baby Daddy/Baby Mama -- Save it for family court, please.
LMS -- For those who haven't had the "pleasure," I've seen this one enough that I actually looked it up. It means "like my status," because kids today don't seem to think it's necessary to actually craft something interesting to get a thumbs up. Now where is my Metamucil, dagnabit?
Come on, you know there are more! Would you add to the list?
While you're at it, don't forget to check out the 6 worst statuses you can leave!
Image via danielfeldt/Flickr