catsIt seems like every other day there's a story in the world of tech news that involves a man and a woman getting into some crazy altercation over sexting. A man catches his wife sexting with the neighbor; a woman catches her husband sexting with the nanny. Same soup, different bowl. We've all heard so many renditions of this story that they're not even interesting anymore. Not the case with this one. In this episode of "Explosive Arguments Stemmed from Sexting," a man smoked weed, talked to his cats, then tried to shoot his wife.

Everyone's fine, don't worry. Here's what happened: Thomas Paul Nunes and his wife Lisa, a former Oregon City police lieutenant, were having marital problems, but nonetheless decided to go out for a night of drinking together. While they were out, Thomas realized that Lisa was getting sexy time photos from another dude (AKA peen pics), and rightfully, he was pissed off. He snatched Lisa's phone away from her and went back to their house to scroll through all of her messages -- where what he found was bad times. However, what he chose to do next is where things get unique. Instead of up and leaving Lisa's cheating ass, Thomas smoked marijuana and "talked to his cats for about 20 minutes to calm himself and 'reason out a plan.'" The plan they came up with was to shoot Lisa in her sleep. Er, correction, to wake Lisa up with a bullet near her skull.

Thomas fired a gun that belonged to Lisa in the guest room where she was sleeping, and the bullet landed a foot over her head. He claims he wasn't trying to harm her, but with the bullet being that close -- and him being drunk and stoned and full of cat advice -- it's hard to say. Thomas then turned the weapon in to Oregon police (by showing up at the station with the gun strapped to his ankle). He's since been sentenced to 10 years in prison, and Lisa has filed for divorce.

So. What is the moral of the story here? I think it's three-fold. One, don't sext with other people when you're already in a relationship -- it will always end poorly (especially if you sext with other people in front of the person you're in a relationship with). Two, don't confer with small animals when trying to figure out what to do if you catch your significant other sexting with someone else. And, three, just went you think sexting stories are getting banal and derivative, a Thomas Nunes comes along. So stay tuned.

Have you ever caught a significant other sexting? Have you ever been caught sexting?

 

Image via Chipmonkey/Flickr