7 Facebook Updates That Are Bumming Us Out, Man

Rant 43

skinny girlA friend of mine posted on Facebook: "Being friends with someone on Facebook and complaining about what they post about is like phoning someone to tell them you don't want to talk to them." Which is prescient because I'm about to complain about what people post on Facebook. I do agree with my friend -- people have every right to post what they like. But let's put it this way: Your posts are bumming me out, man.

Sometimes I like your posts. But sometimes ... how do I say this? ... they ruin my freaking day. There I am, innocently scrolling through my feed, seeing what people are up to, catching up on the news of the world, finding trends to write about, etc., and arrrr!! ... There's that post that makes me want to bang my head against the wall and wail, "What's the point of it all?!" while shoving a fistful of Paxil into my mouth.

Here are seven Facebook updates that are totally bumming me out.

Pictures of abused animals. I adore animals, so maybe that's why these pictures disturb me so much. Yes, I realize that the pics are there to show what horrible things people to do animals, and to get people to help critters by either by donating to rescue groups, or becoming a vegan, or by signing a petition to put the bastard who did this to an animal in jail. But seeing a pic of a dog starved down to its skeleton or a baby pig squealing while its tail is being being cut off ... It's totally bumming me out, man.

Pictures of starving Third World children. Same deal. Yes, I realize posting pics of Third World babies with swollen tummies and flies in their mouths draws attention to an issue that sadly gets forgotten in the onslaught of media stories about celebrity breakups and pregnancies. But a bummer? Fo' sho'.

More from The Stir: 10 Surefire Ways to Be That Obnoxious Facebook Friend

Tragic news stories. As a blogger I write about these bummer news stories all of the time. But at least readers have a choice whether or not to click on them based on the headline. When someone posts a total bummer news story and then sums it all up in their post, well, there it is. Stuck in my brain all day. Makin' me hate the world.

Death updates. I think it is wonderful that people pay tribute to a lost loved one. And certainly remembering the anniversary of a loved one's death is touching. But seeing 10 of them a day is, well, there's no other way to describe it. Depressing as all hell.

Illness updates. No doubt people who go into all kinds of detail about their illnesses want to keep their friends and family updated. And their friends respond sympathetically, which keeps their spirits up. That doesn't mean that it doesn't depress me. Especially when I see so many of them in one day that it would take me hours to respond to them all, so I don't respond to any of them, and then I feel like a douche. But this isn't about me. Okay, it is.

Skinny girls posting about their diets. Yeah, sister, this totally bums me out. You've eaten nothing but kale for three weeks and you're already a size 2. Stop!!

Anything said by the GOP. Besides Rep. Akin's comment about "legitimate rape" and the female uterus' miraculous and fantastical ability to fight off rapist sperm, you've got Rep. Steve King's comment that he's never heard of a woman getting pregnant by incest or statutory rape, and GOP Missouri Committeewoman Sharon Barnes' contention that if a raped woman becomes pregnant, God has "blessed" her. These updates quoting GOP morons make me wanna curl into the fetal position in the corner of my bathroom and rock back and forth until the election is over.

What status updates bum you out?


Image via Bruna Schenkel/Flickr

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geeky... geekychick

The ones that really bother me are ones like when my EX brother-in-law flat out lies about things involving my siter and their kids and then has everyone feeling sorry for him and treating my sister like the wicked witch of the west. Last week their daughter fell while we were at the races and scratched her face and had a black eye and he posted about it and implied that my sister had pushed her or caused it to happen. So while all of his friends and family now think my sister is a child abuser those of us that were there and saw her trip over a step are being treated like crap for protecting a "child abusing whore". It drives me nuts because people pull crap like this all the time. I cant stand people who have the "pity poor me" complex.

Evaly... EvalynCarnate

I agree with the ones about the kids and animals. I mean, I understand this shit goes on in the world but theres no reason some one needs to get all Sarah Mclachlan ten times a day in my news feed. If you're worried about whats going on then adopt a dog or donate to hungry kids in your area..its what I do!

nonmember avatar Cltea150

That about sums it up; because, you took the words right out of my mouth, Kiri. I couldn't agree more!

FourD... FourDaughtersMI

Couples arguing in threads on Facebook. My GOD! 

Elizabeth Burke

I admit I am guilty of posting GOP insanity, but to my defense it's because I am a political animal and cannot help myself.  I simply like to keep people aware of what a bunch of douchebags they hae trolling around thier party. 


But,  my most absolute "who give a shit" moments come when FB friends start to whine about their boyfriends, jobs, life in general.  It's as though they think we are all sitting around desperately wanting to know about your date last night.   No one cares people!  You are not at teenager so please grow up and keep your private life private.  Oh and STOP posting your horoscope, again, no one cares. 

Mary Cimino

I'm always the bitch who tells people to go for their wallets instead of hitting the share button on Facebook. I know it sounds harsh but it's more effective.

Melis... Melissa1508

This is why I quit Facebook!  haha  People just really aren't that interested in the tiny details of my life and I'm certainly not interested in theirs!  The religious posts are the ones that killed me.  Religion is fine, but please don't shove your beliefs down my throat through 20 posts a day!

flowe... flowerfunleah

Or the status updates of friends who have a friend who knows this other friend and want you to pray for their preemie baby and then later post the baby died. 

Deann... Deanna2872

The ego driven, over-sharing poster. Drives me batshit crazy. Seriously, no one is so interesting that we need to know every detail of your waking moment, I promise, lol-



And people that post pics and every detail of their injuries or ailments, from a hangnail to major surgeries.



People that post intimate details of other peoples lives.



And political bickering. For that I would watch more news, lol-

Todd Vrancic

Please, Kiri, don't curl into a fetal ball in the bathroom until the election is over, go out and vote and get the delusional lunatics out of office.

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