Site That Pokes Fun of Judgy, Oversharing Moms on Facebook Is Invading Their Privacy

Rant 65

The other day, I heard about a site called STFUParents. So call me a blogger come lately. Anyway, I thought it sounded kind of interesting, so I went there looking for some laughs and blog ideas. I got both. MommyJacking? Hysterical. Sanctimommy? Priceless. The site isn't about "child hating" or "mommy hating," it's about clueless people hating. The fact that I asked my friend who has four kids if she'd ever heard of it and she replied that she follows the site on Facebook proves this isn't an anti-mommy site. An anti-mommy-without-a-sense-of-humor site, maybe.

But there's something about the site that doesn't sit well with me, and it isn't the fact that it pokes fun of oversharing, overindulgent, over-everything mamas. It's that it uses screenshots of these mamas' exact words from posts they leave on Facebook.

Don't get me wrong. When someone posts a lyric from "Monday Monday" and a proud mother responds with a mommyjacker like "Kaitlin said mamma" or a mother posts about how rude it is for people to flush loudly in a rest stop bathroom when her baby is sleeping (as if restrooms aren't for people who might, well, have to flush) ... I guess you could say these self-obsessed mamas get what they deserve.

BUT. Maybe they don't. Sure, they are being sanctimonious, clueless "mombies." But they thought their remarks were being shared with friends, and maybe friends of friends, not strangers on the Internet. Keep in mind, these are not public postings. They are being submitted to STFUParents by friends, who keep themselves totally anonymous.

The founder of STFUParents (and other sites with similar concepts) blocks out most identifying information. But it doesn't take a genius to figure out, if Alison posted such-and-such and Heather (who has a daughter named Kaitlin) responds, who these women are. There may be people these women have deliberately not friended on Facebook who are now reading their words elsewhere. These women didn't choose to be published writers. Nor did they sign off on the written material they generated (which is technically copyrighted).

People on Facebook feel they are sharing information with people they know and trust. Even if what they are sharing is silly, stupid, or just plain repugnant -- as some of the STFUParents postings are -- they still have a right to privacy.

One day I might see a post that is just so damn hilarious or so damn offensive that I'm going to be very, very tempted to send it in to an oversharing site. But, until that day, your silly, self-indulgent posts are safe with me. Unless one of you submits me to STFUCatLadies. Then game on!

Have you ever submitted a friend's post to a site?


Image via STFUParents

internet, facebook


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poshkat poshkat

Stfu is a great site. They block out the last names for privacy. Most people have 400 something friends and share stuff like this on fb for the whole world to see, most don't make their profiles private and anyone can see all of their information including phone numbers and who they are with, where they are every second of the day. So in conclusion, pa-leze!! There are worse things out there.

geeky... geekychick

Anything you post in the internet can become public. There is no such thing as privacy on Facebook. Anything you post can and will be seen by other people. That is why people need to understand once it is on the internet it will never go away. So if you don't want your stuff to show up on websites like these and others then don't post on the internet.

nonmember avatar Beth

As a mom and a Facebook addict, I LOVE STFUParents! Not only do I find the site wonderfully entertaining and hilarious, it also makes me think twice about the things I post on FB. Sure, FB has privacy settings that can restrict who sees your page, but I think it's extremely naive to think that whatever you post will be 100% protected from being shared with the world....let's not forget that this is the INTERNET! Plus, I think some of these parents need a wake up call from time to time to see what they are posting is over the top and ridiculous.

Ander... Anderbee28

I LOVE that website! And I don't think there are issues with privacy, and people can request that a post about them can be removed if someone does identify them and let them know about it.

Victo... VictoriaGayle

Someone has never heard of failbook...

The idea of someone knowing who they are based on first names is rather idiotic.  How many Alisons in the world have a friend named Heather with a daughter named Kaitlin?  Probably a lot.

Also, this is a comment on someone elses status.  The idea that this is somehow private is ridiculous.  If that friends profile is public, its aleady available for the whole internet to read.

nonmember avatar Cee

Here's the thing. Everything on the internet is to some extent public. Just because you click on privacy settings does not mean someone will not be able to access that so called private information say sellers tied to the company you are using, such as Facebook. Liked something lately or ever? Got tagged at a place? On a picture? Yea that is public information. Not to mention your friends can also make your information public purposefully such as STFUParents or inadvertently. I'm tired of people arguing over their privacy especially in the case of social networking sites because they are not vital as vital to your life such as work emails addresses or medical information sites. If you don't want something released to these sites, do not join them or do not post whatever you don't want the world to know.

nonmember avatar STFU, Parents

Hi there,

As the owner of the site, I'd like to clear a few things up. First, it is my policy that if anyone ever tries to find someone mentioned in a post, they are not to discuss it in the comments or it gets removed. That has only happened a few times, and in every case it was an instance where the person had a public profile or posted on a brand's public page, such as NBC's Facebook page. Second, it is also my policy to REMOVE anything upon request from the original poster. I've only removed maybe 20 posts out of 1,500 over the past 3.5 years, but in every instance I have written back to the person immediately and engaged with them in a friendly, respectful manner. Third, several parents HAVE discovered themselves on my blog and chosen to email me and/or come into the comments to say they understand why the update was posted on the site and that they're happy to be on a blog they already read and enjoy.

All of this could have been established had the author of this blog post reached out to me for comment or to ask how I handle cases of parents finding themselves on the site. I understand if you're morally opposed to the blog (which, as others have pointed out, posts information that's been posted on the Internet, in many times on public pages), but I do have respect for the people featured.


fleur... fleurdelys3110

This is a great website!! It's hysterical and it's about time someone stuck it to preachy, holier-than-thou parents who think they're the first people to ever raise a child!

CPN322 CPN322

I believe it is because of the new layout and "stalking" capabilities of the site, but anything you post now has the possibility to be seen by anyone and everyone because once someone comments or likes your post, that goes onto their feed and their friends can see it, and their friends friends can see it and so on.

nonmember avatar Em

Haha! Miri why So many links to a website you hate???

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