I have some astonishing news, everybody. Hold on to your hats and mouses, because this is a big one. Ready? Most people use Facebook to spy on their exes. Crazy, right? Whodathunkit? But what's really nutty is that most of these people aren't even Facebook friends with their exes anymore. Instead, they use someone else's account -- someone the ex is still friends with -- to log in (with permission of the friend, I presume) and spy on the ex. Come on now, people, that's just wackadoodle stalkery. You know what all of this means, right? Your stalking has made Mark Zuckerberg a billionaire!
According to new research, the overwhelming majority of people who use Facebook at all -- 88 percent!!! -- have used it to spy on an ex. Even if they'd defriended their ex. The woman who wrote her thesis on Facebook usage, Veronika Lucaks, says she was most surprised to find out that most of these people weren't even using their own accounts to do the stalking, they were using someone else's account. Says Lucaks:
I had expected people who were not Facebook friends with their ex-partners would be less distressed. We found the opposite was true. Based on interviewing people, I’m thinking that people who are the most distressed are the ones who delete their partners.
Two-thirds of Lucak's subjects were students, so perhaps it's just an age thing. Are 50-year-olds doing this?!
This behavior highlights how much more difficult modern technology can make getting over a break-up. I remember years ago, before email, before Facebook, before I even had a cellphone, I broke up with a guy. It was a tough break-up, but there was nothing to stalk him with. And considering he lived out of the country and any phone call was superexpensive, we didn't even call each other for those long, drawn-out, pointless rehashings of who did what and who screwed over whom. Within weeks, I had moved on and was happy.
Now? I know people who are still hung up on their exes YEARS after the break-up. They're still texting them, still checking their Facebook, still looking at their Twitter feeds. I don't care what you're telling yourself -- if you're checking an ex's Facebook, looking for signs of a new love, or just seeing what your ex is up to in general, you are delaying your healing process. Possibly indefinitely. If you're a friend who is letting someone use your account to stalk an ex, be a real friend, and don't let them.
When it comes to exes, it can be best to follow the four D's: Defollow. De-email. De-text. Defriend.*
Do you use Facebook to spy on your ex?
*No getting past that rule by using your friend's account to spy.
Image via English106/Flickr