When I first read that Samantha Brick, the average-looking writer who is infamous for saying she's so beautiful that other women hate her, checks all of her husband's accounts on a daily basis, my first thoughts were: Controlling. Distrusting. Coo-coo! But then I thought more about it. And somewhat reluctantly, I came to think, Well, why not? Says Samantha:
As far as I’m concerned, my husband’s emails, voicemails, and texts aren’t just his business — they’re mine, too.
Samantha claims she doesn't do this because she distrusts her hubby, oh no. It's because she doesn't trust women.
Samantha says that women excel at sending "friendly" messages that are really wanting something more. Maybe. But this shouldn't matter if your husband isn't looking for something more. Clearly, Samantha doesn't trust hubs as much as she's saying.
But certainly there are plenty of women who don't give a crap that a guy is already taken. I remember a friend telling me that she was the one who'd set up her techno-tard husband's Facebook account, so she had his password. He knew that and didn't care. But she checked it once and found an email from an old girlfriend of his that was looking to reconnect in a much more than friendly way. My friend then shot off a warning to the wannabe hubs-stealer.
But did she need to do this if her husband had no intention of cheating? Well, here's the way I look at it: The road to hell is paved with good intentions. A guy might not be looking to cheat. But maybe he gets bored one day and replies to the ex (or whomever). And then she replies. And then it becomes a habit. Soon, they're emailing and even flirting daily. And then things go through a rough patch at home. And then he starts thinking about the email or Facebook girl, who is sweet, flirty, and who doesn't yell at him for not doing his share of diaper duty. And suddenly she looks pretty good!
Technology makes cheating so much EASIER. Sure, a guy in this scenario could then go out and physically find a woman to cheat with, but it would be a lot more difficult and time consuming.
In a way, I can see where Samantha is coming from. I've had my share of guys crossing the line -- either WAY over, or just edging up to it -- with technology. Most women have these days. But there's really no way to completely control another human being, as much as Samantha seems to believe she's doing it. She declares: "Neither do we have clandestine accounts, undeclared mobile phones, or belong to any of the myriad online social networks." And how would she know if hubby had a secret email account that he checks when she's in the shower or traveling?
But Samantha and her husband seem happy. And if all of this checking of his accounts is making them feel closer to each other and doing away with unnecessary distrust and angst, then maybe it's not a bad idea.
Do you keep track of your husband's email and text messages?
Image via Robert Scoble/Flickr