I admit that, technology-wise, I'm a bit behind the times. I'm  on only my second cell phone in 10 years and it's a rudimentary phone. Which means that I can't tap out complex text messages like everyone else seems to be able to do on their smartphones, iPads and Blackberries. Long texts from coworkers or friends are usually answered with a simple "Yes," or "No." They probably think I'm being rude, but I just don't have the equipment to get into prolonged discussions via text message.

Even if I did have the means of writing out long messages via text, I still believe that some things should never be said by text. Here are 6 of them.

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What did the doctor say?

So someone you know has just been to the doctor, for something kind of serious involving tests or X-rays or scans, and you want her to tap her diagnosis into the phone? If you care at all what the doctor says about your friend's health, you'll call.

I love you.

This is cute if you've been seeing each other for awhile and it's the middle of the day, and you just want to check in with a little digital mash note. It's NOT cute if this is the first time you're saying it to someone. That is for in-person only.

Will you marry me?

Just no.

You're fired.

I'm pretty sure this could be grounds for some kind of lawsuit. Okay, maybe not, but I don't care how much you don't like someone, or how much they deserve it, unless your employee embezzled a bunch of funds, you owe them a phone call or in-person meeting.

I can't see you anymore.

If you've gone past three dates or gotten sexual with someone, you owe them a phone call at least. Maybe an email if it's sincere and well-written. But I still think that's pretty lame.

Hey, it's so-and-so, from fifth grade! What have you been up to?

Seriously, you want me to text back the last 20 years of my life?

What should you never text?

 

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