It wasn't until I spoke with photographers my fiance and I are considering hiring that I found out just how much technology is wrecking weddings these days. The lovely couple told us that even during the ceremony, they've seen guests engrossed in texting, tweeting, or, at the very least, taking in the action through their smartphone camera (as opposed to seeing and experiencing it right in front of them). But now, we have proof that it's not just guests wrecking their wedding-going experience this way. Almost half of brides are just as guilty!
According to a David's Bridal online survey, 49 percent of women polled said they did or likely would update their Facebook relationship status from "engaged" to "married" between the ceremony and the reception. Come ON. You've got to be kidding!
Making matters worse: People start hounding the couples who drag their feet with it. Ugh, give me a break!
It's one thing if you're talking about a four-day Indian wedding, but even then! Most brides go straight from their ceremony into a cocktail hour and/or photo session. Meanwhile, they're having their Maid of Honor bring them a champagne flute and their smartphone? Or an iPad? So they can make sure all of Facebook knows they tied the knot? What's next -- "You may kiss the bride ... and update your Facebook status!" (Actually, I think that is already happening. Sigh.)
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Don't these brides want to focus on what's going on in front of them? Furthermore, aren't at least a few people they're "sharing" with on Facebook annoyed that they're not at the wedding? They may feel resentful about the whole up-to-the-minute play-by-play. (And I've seen that happen quite a bit now. Some guests seem to feel its their job to be the social media commentators, keeping Facebook updated on the event from start to finish.)
Of course these brides are just excited that they've finally jumped the broom, taken the plunge, watched as their hubby crushed the glass and everyone yelled, "Mazel tov!" But inviting Facebook to your wedding really does nothing to enhance the moment. The people who are most important to you should be there, and if they can't be, they shouldn't have to rely on Facebook to know you're getting hitched that day.
I really admire brides who wait a day or two -- maybe even until they're back from their honeymoon! -- to change their relationship status. That's the kind of bride I plan to be. Because it proves that you're living in the moment, being present, and not inadvertently missing out on one of the most important moments of your lives.
How do you feel about brides/grooms changing their Facebook relationship status right after the ceremony?
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Comments 24
how utterly stupid. i'm sorry, but in all the whirlwind of going from ceremony to reception, how do you have time to stop and do such a thing?
and maybe it's just because i don't use FB, but i would imagine that if you wanted the people on there to know about your wedding, they'd be a guest, right?
i miss a time when people lived in the real world most of the time, and online some of the time. it's become to flipped around these days. :(
*too
I went home after our ceremony. There were hours between that and our reception so we had a lot of down time. So as we showered, relaxed and got ready for the evening, I was on FB. So I changed my relationship status. I also took 3 seconds to change my status to "Married :-)" (Gasp!).
Anyway, there are different circumstances and not all of them are "Utterly stupid" (in my 'snarky, snooty, nose turned in the air' voice).
@Jasmine - that would make you the exception, not the rule. and obviously, your situation is different (being a few hours between the two events, not the atypical hour or so for photos and cocktail hour). also, don't take my "snarky, nose in the air" tone personally - it's only personal if you find it applies to you. ;)
I have my one year anniversary in 2 days... And I went straight from the ceremony to our afternoon cake and punch reception where I pulled my phone out of my bra and took some really great candid pics. After the reception (before dinner), during our limo ride, I got some even more great candid pics that I couldn't have done otherwise... And you better believe I posted them immediately to facebook AND changed my status during our hour long limo ride. We had a small wedding - 32 guests. And most of my husband's family couldn't make it d/t to distance, and I wouldn't have been selfish enough to make them wait for any pictures or updates. And just because you have facebook friends doesn't mean you can or want to invite them all to the wedding but it also doesn't mean you don't want to share the day.
Sshhheesshhh... Do what you're going to do but quit bitching about other brides when it has nothing to do with you.
Don't most brides have a drive from the wedding to the reception? You're not that busy when riding in a car, and an FB update only takes a few seconds. I agree...pretty judgy post.
I got married a month ago and I still haven't changed my status.
I went straight from the wedding to the reception and instead of spending that time on FB, my groom and I spent it talking to each other, sharing with each other what happened before the ceremony, talking about what was going through our minds during the ceremony, etc. We spent it with each other. I got married in the early afternoon and it was late in the night before I even thought to check FB.
And for the record....I'm obsessed with FB. But if there is one day where you put FB aside and live in the moment with your spouse, shouldn't it be your wedding day?