I've been told that I'm living a real-life version of Everybody Loves Raymond. For the records, I'm Debra. My fiance is Raymond. And his parents are Marie and Frank. Add in the fact that we are currently planning our spring 2013 nuptials, and you've got a recipe for a lot of migraines. The latest: A 101 lesson on why brides-to-be must be careful about what they post on Facebook (or Twitter, for that matter).
Oh, sure, when you're first starting out in your blissfully engaged bubble you believe the entire Internet is yours for the taking. Pinterest is your oyster! Twitter is your go-to spot for crowd-sourcing info on any and everything wedding! And Facebook is your familiar stomping ground to share not just your shiny new relationship status but your highs and lows along the oft bumpy road to "I do," as well. Just booked the venue? Found the dress of your dreams? Decided on a cake flavor? Hooray! Share with friends in a status update!
Or don't. No, really, don't.
Not because your non-bride friends will de-friend you. (Pfft, like they'll be any different once they have a ring on it?!) But because all that Facebook loudmouthing could get you in BIG trouble.
For instance, here's a legit sitch: Couple gets engaged, shares the big news with (most of) their closest friends before changing their relationship statuses on Facebook, but uh-oh ... They soon find out they forgot to call ... Sally Jane. Oh no! SJ is piiiissed. Why did she have to find out that you're engaged via Facebook?! Okay, maybe you were pretty close with Sally at one point, so she deserved a call, so you're kicking yourself about that one. But give yourself a break. These things are bound to happen.
Now, consider this even nuttier scenario ... You post that you've picked out your dress at a trunk show, or you've sent the contract to your catering manager. A couple of family members are friends with you on Facebook, but several others aren't (or don't go on that much). The ones who are in the "status update know" call the ones who aren't -- you know, to say "Congrats!" And suddenly, your seemingly innocent Facebook excitement just created a ton of draaaaaaama. Believe me: I speak from experience.
I'm the first one to rave out about how people abuse social media and overshare all the time. But brides should get a free pass to share their most exciting news. It's not that they're "relying" on Facebook to spread the word. They're just sharing it with their friends who happen to use Facebook. Maybe they'll also call those people, and they'll definitely pass the message along (at some point, regarding crucial points) to friends and family who aren't on Facebook. But in the moment, right after a "Whoo hoo!" moment, they can't help themselves from sharing with their 512 friends. And can you blame 'em? Unfortunately, family members who aren't on Facebook definitely will!
Have you ever come to regret posting something about your wedding on Facebook because of how your family or friends reacted?